January 4, 2011

conflicted

conflicted
that is how i feel!

meeting with the counsellor yesterday was very good - but also very tough
i went to work looking like a hot mess, and my mind has been reeling ever since
trying to make some tough decisions, and struggling with knowing if i'm making the right decision - am i making a decision based only on emotion? am i being lazy? can i trust how i really feel inside? can't someone else make the decision for me?

i've been encouraged to take ownership back. ownership of my emotions, my life, my work, my family, my relationships, my decisions. good or bad, i need to take ownership, and that alone can be a good first step!

doing some more thinking. not going to make any major decisions today, just going to try and take the day an hour at a time. in the last hour i drove my mom to work, which is always nice cause then i get to have a little chat with her. this hour, I'm snuggled up with my heat blanket watching the new season of the bachelor, next hour will be lunch, and then a few hours of work. little steps at a time, decisions can be made tomorrow.

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