home stretch

today has been a quiet day at home
it kind of fell into my lap as I thought I had different plans for the day
but those plans were changed and I ended up with a day to myself!

i have spent the day doing laundry, folding baby clothes and copious amounts of michael's work clothes (that boy has a LOT of work clothes!). I have done dishes, caught up on some tv shows, organized all the resources/handouts we received at our prenatal classes, had a leisurely lunch and edited pictures I took of friends of mine. it has been a good day.

i am in the home stretch - considered "full term" this baby could come any day! however, I am trying to hold that loosely in my mind - since there is also every chance that this baby could come up to 2 weeks late - which would be another 4 1/2 weeks from now!! for a planner and organizer like myself - it's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that this baby will just come when it wants.

the best thing is that I'm still quite comfortable - so I can wait. but I'm also relatively ready - so I'd be ok with an early birth too! the next 2 weekends are relatively quiet (altho Michael is playing worship both weekends in church). I have purchased birthday gifts for both Michael & Dad T (their birthdays are November 4 & 8 - so right before baby's due date and right on baby's due date!)

Our basement is coming along (thanks to much help, especially from my in-laws) and soon the rolls of carpet that I climb over in our hallway will be glued down to the basement floor. It has been a busy month!

one week of work left - 3 days and one staff lunch to be exact. My office is mostly packed up already and my replacement is ready to go! It is strange to make so many transitions!

I am starting to get butterflies when I think about what it will be like to say our baby's name outloud to our families and then our friends. What it will be like to hold our baby and say it's name outloud to it! I'm going to miss being the only one to feel the punches and kicks all day, but I am happy to have that replaced with the chance to actually sit and stare at it's sweet face all day.

I must also say that I'm selfishly looking forward to a celebratory glass of rum & coke when I get home (don't worry, I know the rules about alcohol and breastfeeding - plus, when I say rum & coke, I really mean a glass of coke with a tiny splash of rum - I don't need much!)

well - I'm going to get back to my nice quiet relaxing day! I have a few more things on my to-do list - including working on packing my bags and burning a copy of my "baby mix" playlist to a CD for my car!

Here's a picture from a couple of weeks ago - must say, I love having a baby bump!

motherhood & social media

there are a lot of good things about social media
I'm still connected to social media in a few ways - blogging and pinterest really
I have a facebook with no friends - so that I can use it to enter contests and other things
I occasionally read peoples tweets on twitter (but mostly just to stay up to date with my close friends jef & emily.. haha!)

I have realized over the last 8+ months of being pregnant that social media can be a good thing, but it can also make you feel insecure, make you feel like you don't measure up, make you feel like everyone wants to tell you about everything in their lives so you should want to share all of that too, that you should have a cuter nursery, read more parenting books, post more verses of scripture or songs in your house, drink green smoothies all day long etc. It is overwhelming!! I'm not even parenting yet and already there are days or times that I don't feel like I'm measuring up!

I have also realized that when you are pregnant people want to know some of the following (so I'll put my thoughts next to the questions, incase any of your are DYING TO KNOW what I think..):
- how long did you try to get pregnant (that can be a very sensitive subject for someone who tried unsuccessfully for months or years. we are thankful that was not our situation, and we know we are very blessed and fortunate that we did not have that struggle that some of our friends have had.)
- are you going to do MSS screening (to find out if your child has special needs - and in some peoples cases - to decide whether or not to terminate the pregnancy - We did not want to do this test.)
- are you going to find out the gender of the baby (we did - altho some people have made it clear to me with their reactions that they don't approve of that - oh well, I like being prepared!)
- if you did find out the gender - are you telling? (we aren't - I like the element of surprising all of our friends at the end of the 9 months! But I have no issue with those who decide to tell!)
- are you going to breastfeed? exclusively? (I will do my best! But I think there are times when Moms need to use formula - and I think they are just as wonderful mothers!)
- are you going to use cloth diapers? (no we are not - Michael made it clear that he had no interest in changing a cloth diaper - and I was on the fence, leaning toward disposable.. so it was a pretty easy decision. But, telling some people this answer has left them with a GASP look on their faces. From what I have read - there are pros and cons to both sides of the argument, and in all honesty - I have no interest in being part of that argument. I say, do what works for you - and if your baby is happy - we have success)
- are you going to labour "naturally"? (aka no medication) For the record - I think medication or not, it is all natural. It is still a baby coming out of your body - whether it is vaginally, by c-section, with no medication or with an epidural - it's still a baby coming out of you!! I am going to attempt to do a medicine free vaginal birth - but I have read about all the medication options and the procedure of a c-section.
- are you going to have a birth plan? Nope (or at least not a written one) - my plan is this - be educated and then trust that the doctor I chose to walk me through my pregnancy is more than qualified to make good decisions/suggestions for my care during my labour.
- doula? midwife? birthing center? (This one is a hot topic these days!! I only wanted a doctor - and I was only going to birth at a hospital. Birth is too fragile of a thing for me to not want to be surrounded by doctors/nurses/and all the necessary tools. As for a doula - when Michael and I talked about it, he felt as though a doula would be doing his job - and he wanted his job to be his. I loved that answer. Instead of a doula, I'm having Michael and my Mom as my support people and I feel like this is the best choice for me!!)
- Ok, so how about parenting - attachment parenting? baby wise? somewhere in between? (this is the other "hottest" topic in my opinion, because everyone has an opinion and a method. To be honest - we have LOVED being able to be an Auntie & Uncle to Josh & Leahs kids and to watch how they parent. We love how they treat their kids, how they respect them and how they have a "schedule" but it isn't rigid. My opinion with parenting "technique" is my same as with diapers - do what works for you, happy mom, happy baby - success. Leah read the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer - and passed it onto me - I like it because it is more inbetween the "extremes" of parenting - and it seems like something that will work for me. Trial and error I suppose..)

I guess my main point of this rant is this - there are a lot of things out there (blogs, pinterest, facebook, twitter and pregnancy forums) that can make me doubt myself and get anxious - but the best advice I've been given is to just trust myself - and to have a few "safe" people that I can confide in about the struggles, and people that I can ask about how they did things etc. I am surrounded by a multitude of wonderful mothers - maybe it's time to focus more on them and what we do have, then to compare to people I (often) don't even know and allow myself to doubt!

Social media - it can be good, but for me, it's something I need to guard against.

4 weeks today until my due date - and this baby is going to be in my care, in my house, and will be my baby! Trusting myself, praying, and a good support system is the key to success I think :)

Here are 2 pictures of me from today incase any of you were wondering if my belly is growing - it really is! This baby is running out of room...

hold on to me as a we go...

I'm not sure how many other people still watch American Idol, but I do even though after Taylor Hicks won I swore I would NEVER watch again...
This past season was probably my favorite of all the seasons. The judges are more positive and give more constructive criticism as opposed to just being grumpy (aka simon cowell). It was also my favorite season because I was so happy with who won.. a guy named Phillip Phillips (maybe I'll name our baby Thiesse Thiessen, since the double name seemed to work for Phillip). He was my favorite because it was so obvious that he was there because he loved making music, he loved performing because it meant he got lost in the music - he wasn't there to be "adored" or praised for what he did (although that's a nice bonus I'm sure). He was there to just be who he was, and express himself through this creative outlet of music. And he had one of the most attractive qualities a person can have (in my opinion) - a humble spirit. When they announced that he won, he had to sing his new single - Home - and it was emotional to watch (and apparently something I get emotional talking about.. pregnant much?) because he was just so humbled at the support for who he truly is, that he couldn't even make it through singing the whole song and he ended up walking off the stage to cry with his family.
By far my favorite TV moment of 2012.

Anyway, this song has become one of my favorites and it came on this morning when I was watching the weather channel as I was getting ready for the day, and has been playing in my mind since then. I'm  in the process of making a mix CD of songs that make me think about our little baby, and this journey of preparing to be parents and just these months of anticipation and fun. I intend to listen to it in the car during the last few weeks before my due date, and if I decide to listen to music when I'm in labour (I'm undecided as to whether I'll find music enjoyable or annoying when I'm in pain.. time will tell) then it will be part of that mixture of songs. I decided this morning that this song, Home, is going on that mix - partially because I just love it and how it sounds, but also because of a lot of the words.

Recently I have been starting to have some thoughts (I was going to say doubts, or fears, or concerns.. but those all sound like such downers) about what it will really be like to take on the role of being a mom, and being parents, Michael & I together. No one gives you permission to become a parent, no one can really tell you what to do, or fully prepare you for this huge (and amazing) new role. I'm gathering that it is a lot of trial and error. I have been having a lot of dreams lately, and the other day the main thing in my dream was that my baby was born but I kept living life as if it wasn't. I would get up and leave for the day, and I went days without feeding or changing my baby. I woke up in a bit of a panic!

I've always known I want to be a mom, and that I think Michael will be an awesome Dad. We have wonderful examples, especially in our parents and Josh & Leah. We are so excited for this all to really start - but it is also completely new territory. So many unknowns which is both the exciting and terrifying thing about it!

I am very aware that Satan likes to take our doubts and our personal weaknesses and blow them out of proportion. He likes to make me wonder if I can even do this at all! But, I am confident in who I am, in who God made me to be, in Michael, in our support of family & friends. And well, I love this baby so much, and if I'm terrible at everything else, at least it will know it is completely and utterly loved!

So, back to the song, Home - I feel like the words play into all of this journey for me - "hold onto me as we go, as we roll down this unfamiliar road... don't pay no mind to the demons that fill you with fear... just know you're not alone, I'm going to make this place your home."

I am so looking forward to this new stage of life being home.

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

does this make anyone else cry? no? just me? oh well :)

dreaming in kitchens

pinterest has become my new favourite thing thanks to an invite from my friend christine - I love searching for ideas for our house, for DIY projects, for clever tips & of course, for recipes
i am realizing that as we design our home (to hopefully be built in 2013) there are a few areas of the house that I care most about their design & their look - the kitchen, the laundry room & our ensuite. i have always liked bold colours & I am thinking it will be no different in our new home. I also really like a bit of a vintage feel (if only i had a friend who was into vintage.. just joking, audrey is one of my inspirations!)
functionality, simplicity & a fresh feel are 3 of the most crucial things for me.
since the actual decision making stage is still semi-far off I am having fun just gathering all kinds of photos, blogs, and magazine clippings to inspire me.
here are my current favourite inspirations. and the last photo is a photo that will have a prominent spot in my kitchen.

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my inspiration - my sweet grandma (the summer after my dad was born)