Immanuel

Christmas is here. Every year I feel like it sneaks up on me, like I don't always take the time to soak it up before it is over.

I love so much about Christmas. The music, the decorations, the turkey and the Christmas baking. I love the Christmas carols and the time with family. I love the familiarity of the Christmas story and the sound of my brother or one of my dads reading the words, "in those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree..." I love taking time to pick out gifts for those I love, and spending more time together than a normal day.

I always miss loved ones that are no longer here. Christmas always makes me aware of the fact that our family is not whole here on earth, especially missing my first nephew, Jay.

This year Christmas is different since we are now a family of 3. I appreciate time with family even more and I'm more aware yet again of the gifts that God has given me.

But this year, having Matilda around has helped me see Christmas in another way. I have always loved the name Immanuel for God. It has just always been one of my favourite ways to refer to Jesus. I love the verse in Isaiah (9:6) "For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called:
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." And I love to read it together with the verse in Matthew (1:23) "She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means 'God is with us'".

The verse in Isaiah talks about a son being given to us, and the verse in Matthew talks about his name meaning he is WITH us. This is where having Matilda has helped give me a new perspective.

I always knew I wanted to have kids. I feel natural around kids and I love spending time with my nephews and my friends kids. I knew the basics of what having a kid meant - getting pregnant, going through labour, feeding the baby, changing diapers, meeting needs, getting her to sleep etc. I knew having a baby would mean she would be with me, live with me, but I didn't get the depth of that until the experience was mine. Until I went thru it, I didn't know that when you are pregnant, you think of your baby 24/24 hours of the day. When you go into labour you do not care about the pain or about what it takes to get that baby out safely. Until I had a baby that needed me to fill her every need I didn't know what it felt like to be needed like that. Until the experience was mine, I didn't know how much time and effort it took, and I didn't get how much you can love someone.

Until the experience was mine, I didn't know what it really meant to have a baby with me at all times. She is all I think about, I don't do anything without thinking how she fits in to it. I don't eat breakfast when I am hungry if I think she need to eat or even just have my full attention.

Until now, it didn't fully sink in that that is what Immanuel means. God is WITH us. He wants to be with me the way Matilda is. He wants to be part of every minute of my day. He wants my attention, my thoughts, my everything. He makes himself present constantly, he may not force my attention like a newborn does, but he wants it.

So this year I will make it intentional to welcome him the way he welcomes me. Immanuel - a son given to us, God with us.

This picture is of my chalkboard in my living room, with the verse from Matthew to help remind me of this wonderful gift.

day 26: near

near

i love this picture

it is NEAR to my heart

auntie ashley & uncle mikey looking on to the sweetest little christmas present

the christmas of 2009

sweet little Everett John

but the other meaning of NEAR with this picture

is that Christmas is near (whether or not you like counting down this early - i do!)

and the other thing that is near - soon we will be gazing on a cute little baby again

like we are in this picture

but it will be OUR BABY.

6 weeks to go (or more, or less..)

but it is getting NEAR!

day 25: frame

frame

for todays picture I'm picking one that I think is "frame-worthy"

this is my family - the one I married into, but feel like I was always part of

2 Christmases ago I bought us some party crackers

complete with these crowns

and we decided to take family pictures

my dear hubby likes to always be different

so for the "serious" picture, he was crazy

and for this "crazy" one, he was normal.

he certainly is the baby of the family - can get away with anything!

felix navidad from fargo

michael & i decided to come to fargo for a few days this week
i had some holidays left to take before the end of the year, so I decided to take them before & after Christmas. we had wanted to go away for our anniversary in September, but a financially hard summer left us realizing that spending money on a hotel would not be the smartest thing at the time
so, this is a late anniversary, early christmas get away

i'm writing from our room at the wingate hotel in fargo
i got us upgraded to a king sized bed (i had the BEST sleep last night. surrounded by at least 4 pillows!)
we got here yesterday around lunch, and then found out that our hotel has a "happy hour" where they put out free appetizers (yesterday we had salad, chips & salsa, trail mix  - they also had mashed potatoes & pulled pork!! - tonight we had salad, chips & salsa, pizza & wings!) as well as free beer & wine. we had enough there tonight that we won't be having supper.

we have shopped, swam, sat in the hot tub, watched mini marathons of 2 of our favourite tv shows and enjoyed restaurants that we don't have in manitoba (space aliens yesterday & qdoba today)

it has been wonderfully relaxing & so fun to just hang out the two of us. tomorrow morning we'll sleep in, enjoy a free breakfast at the hotel, do a little more shopping (have to get in a 2nd trip to target) and then head home in the later afternoon i think.

there is NO snow here, and today it was +4 - I didn't even need to wear my jacket at all, which is super nice when going in & out of stores. my christmas shopping is now 99% done! amazing how we are only 4 hours away but it feels like way further. (however i did have a dream last night that we went to hawaii with my parents, josh, leah & ev... and I'd be good with that!)

hope you are all finding times to relax this week before christmas!

christmas aspirations

school is done!!
time for Christmas :)

I have already been working on the things on my "christmas aspirations list" (an idea given to me by my fabulous friend audrey) She made my list all fancy for me and it's up on my fridge. A good way to make sure that I do the things I love doing around Christmas!

i baked sugar cookies last night with my sister phoebe & my mom-in-law, i put my christmas cards to out-of-town friends in the mail today, mike put up our lights on the house last night (first time we've had lights on the house since we got married!), michael & i made a snowman at midnight a few weeks ago when it was snowing so beautifully. we made a snowman and then went for a walk as the snow was falling. i have sung stille nacht numerous times (this is the first year in a long time that i'm not singing at mcivor on christmas eve. partially because i'm not part of the choir this year and also because the service was cancelled), we have attended 2 christmas plays (eastview dinner theater and kilconas christmas play) we have officially had egg nog in the house since monday, we bought and decorated our real tree this week.. 

i made a wreath out of white  & green yarn as well as some gold twig things. it's hanging in the kitchen.  i have also gone through a few potfuls of stovetop potpurri.. smells like christmas to me. 

my afghan is a continuous project.. i almost have 175 squares done!

having family over/visiting with family is not one of my aspirations that i will cross off because i want to keep visiting the whole season long!!

we are planning to make a gingerbread house with everett on the 26th (the day our family is celebrating christmas) i think it'll be fun and messy!

the second side of my list is not as complete.. i have watched 2 of the 4 movies on my list, made my own ornaments, listened to christmas music constantly. i have volunteered - singing at a woman's brunch - and that is where my list ends. i am very much looking forward to puzzling, skating, tobogganing, and hopefully i can find some home videos to watch. 

i love the season of Christmas. time to slow down and spend time with family. michael & i are also going to have our own little christmas - we are going to fargo next week for 3 days! And - as a wonderful christmas bonus - Chad will be home this weekend!! we are very thrilled.

if anyone is having trouble getting into the christmas season you should watch one of my all time favorite christmas videos. it is so wonderful, sweet and simple that it makes me tear up every time. especially when they have a party. the season of christmas can become so busy. but the story and the gift of christmas is so wonderful, simple and amazing!

christmas & school don't mix

it is december and the end of the school year is in sight!!
monday is my last day of classes - and on that day I have a major paper due in one class (topic still to be chosen.. been having a hard time, even though the topic is "anything relating to 19th century music" I am not a fan of such broad topics) - 3 smaller papers (1-2 pagers) in the other class, and a "quiz" (in my bible class we don't have an exam during the regular exam time. just a shorter quiz)

so the end is near, but it's getting worse before it's getting better. this weekend will be filled with research, paper writing and studying.

but it's the christmas season! and I feel like I'm being gypped of the start of it. thankfully my friend Audrey & I had our "christmas launch party" last night - which consisted of starbucks christmas drinks, peppermint middles oreo cookies, listening to stille nacht (ok that was by chance in starbucks, but still - check!), chatting, crocheting (on my part) and watching The Holiday. I also wore my "festive sweater" to make it complete.

I feel a bit like the picture up top. about to step into the christmas spirit, but then I just want to put everything else (aka school) on the shelf so I can spend time with family and friends, going to plays and dinners, singing carols, making gingerbread and celebrating Jesus's birth. But the more I avoid my school to-do list.. the more stressed I am, and that is not what I want this season to be about!

only a few more days..

in the meantime, I will get even more into the holiday spirit by listening to christmas music constantly. my favorite cd so far this year is...

 You can download it for $10 on iTunes, you should do it! It will fill your home with wonderfully enjoyable Christmas tunes. or check it out on: www.sheandhim.com
(Vocals, piano & ukele by Zooey Deschanel, Vocals, Guitar & Organs by M. Ward)