- stretch your comfort zone
- travel without a map
- welcome the sunrise
some of the things: (like i said, some are big, some are small...)
ordering lunch and having it come back covered in all kinds of things i didn't want or order, taking a sip of my drink only to realize there is a hole in the bottom of the cup and it's been spilling the whole time, almost getting t-boned..., my key not working in the door, almost getting side swiped, running out of an ingredient while baking, wrong date for an appointment, sore legs from weeding the never ending weeds in my flower beds!, and then finding out that starbucks no longer makes my favorite drink!
however, really... those are all quite small little things
more importantly in life, yesterday was 3 years since my grandpa went to be with Jesus. oh Grandpa... i think about him all of the time. I have this picture of him in my head, many actually, and he is always smiling. i like to imagine him taking Jay for walks in heaven. he'd have his walking stick and he'd keep up with little Jay. and Grandpa would be explaining all the different things that they see along the way. Grandpa brought our family closer together, i really truly believe that. He was such a gift to our family, and no one will ever be quite like him (altho my dad is pretty close!). when i think of canada day i think of spending the evening before sitting beside his bed holding his hand and singing him hymns and worship songs quietly while he fell asleep. then he woke up enough to tell me he loved me and to go get some rest. i love thinking about my time with Grandpa.
and soon it will be Jay's birthday. the other day i opened my wallet to pay for something and the cashier saw a picture of Jay. She said to me "that is the most beautiful baby! he must've just been a new born in this picture" and I smiled and very proudly said "isn't he! that is my nephew Jay." I didn't feel the need to tell her that he passed away, but rather just agreed that yes! he was so beautiful!! I'm so proud of my little nephew, and that is all that the cashier needed to know. It is good to remember Jay for who he is, and to celebrate how wonderful he was.
the other day i was thinking about the day when the next babe will be born, the day that Jay will have a little brother or sister, and this song was playing in the background where I was. It reminded me of how much beauty and love there is with babies, with Jay and with this next one. I think we will see a lot of Jay in the next baby, and we will be able to celebrate both of them. I think I will be overwhelmed with beauty, and this song will be playing again in my head that day:
all this beauty
you might have to close your eyes
and slowly open wide.
all this beauty
we've travelled all night
we drank the ocean dry
and watch the sunrise
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