but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express

deep calls to deep
and my soul finds no resting place but him
he is my God
the yearning of my soul is touched and stilled
and each rare moment i felt his presence
i shall remember and forever cherish

deep calls to deep
and at his feast i am a welcome guest
he gives me food
the hunger of my soul is laid to rest
and each rare moment i felt his presence
i shall remember and forever cherish

deep calls to deep
for he created me to be his own
he understands the joy and pain of life, he to his own
and each rare moment i felt his presence
i shall remember and forever cherish

- deep calls to deep : steve bell

i had the privilege of going to the steve bell/symphony concert last night with my family, and it was such a blessing yet again.

they ended the night with the song deep calls to deep, which has become one of my favorite songs as of late.
i've been working on putting together a cd of lament songs, and also going through what that looks like... being in a season of lament doesn't mean that you are going to be crying every minute of the day, or that you can never laugh or enjoy yourself. it just means that your heart in one way or another is broken. to me it doesn't mean that God isn't part of your life, or that you don't know that God is God... but it means that God is God because he is there, weeping with you. laughing with you in the moments when we are able to laugh, crying when we are crying, and resting with us when we are resting.

during lament it can be hard to "sing the happy christiany songs". it's not that i don't believe all those things are true about God, because I do, but sometimes it's hard to sing "yes Jesus, you are so great and happy and everything is fluffy and happy and i want to clap and dance"... which may be a little bit of an overstatement... but i fully believe that "worship" doesn't just include songs that are all happy but that worship can be "how long will it take? how long will i have to wait?" worship is acknowledging that no matter the circumstance, God is God. that does not change, but the ways that we acknowledge our current needs and ways that God is there for us does change. i'm wondering if this makes sense in anyone else's head, or just mine. but that is where my heart is.

deep calls to deep.

i love when steve bell sings this song with the symphony, i could listen to this song over and over, and often i do. i love how it starts... the bass player plays his stand up bass with a bow, and the instrument groans. it just groans, there is no other way to say it.

this part reminds me of the verse in scripture that says that when we run out of words to say, or don't know how to pray because of the state of our souls, the spirit groans for us. groans on our behalf, and God hears.

deep calls to deep, and my soul finds no resting place but him...

we groan from the deepest parts of our souls, deep calls to deep... the deepest parts of us call to the deepest parts of our God.

and he hears. and we find rest. and peace.

michael and i were talking about this on the way home from the concert, about peace. we talked about how peace isn't just being happy, or an absence of conflict. peace is wholeness, being at rest. i think that Christ gives us peace, gives us HIS peace and so with him we can rest. it doesn't mean being 'happy' but it means resting in Christ. allowing His peace to find our soul and ooze into the rest of our being.

the music in the song changes shortly after the groaning, and if i close my eyes when i listen i can picture the instruments dancing. i picture being at rest and whole with Christ and out of that i can dance, i can be fed, and i can still be me. God is still God, and my situation is still just as crappy as ever, but I have his peace, and with my God I can be... just be.

he is my God, the joy and pain of life, he to his own

here is the video of the song, there are captions to read while watching, but i recommend closing your eyes and allowing the song to surround you.



ps. if you're interested in a copy of a lament cd, just let me know. i'm making them this week.