don't you know that you're toxic?

i have had this song running through my head all day so far

with a taste of your lips
i'm on a ride
your toxic, i'm slipping under
with a taste of poison paradise
i'm addicted to you
don't you know that you're toxic?
(toxic - by britney spears)

not really my FAVORITE song to have playing on repeat
but.. sigh... it is in my head
so.. why is it in my head? let me tell you

i've been thinking a lot about things that i have in my life that i can get caught up in
both good and bad
and there was quite a good list
one thing that i used to get caught up in was facebook
and i'm not saying it's "toxic" to everyone, but it wasn't a good thing for me to have
i struggle too much with comparing, with snooping, with frustrations of inconsistent friends and behaviors. i just got caught up in it to much, so, quitting it was the right thing to do, for me.

however, there are still a few similar things that i find myself caught up in
and we were talking about one of these things last night around a bonfire with josh & leah
at one point i said
"i try not to get caught up, but i continue to find myself there, reading!"
and when i was trying to find a word to describe it leah said, "it's toxic"

how often do we hear things now a days about ridding your body of toxins
yet there seems to be less warnings for emotional and mental toxins.
but personally.. i find them way more harmful!

as someone who does a lot of comparing, over analyzing, doubting.. one "taste" of something toxic can just suck me in, and it's so not worth it!

i realize that with being semi-cryptic it sounds like i'm into something really awful or x-rated! but that's not it. it's more like reading blogs of people who talk like they have everything together. or that just have strong opinions that get me going.. that type of thing.

anyway, i've just been thinking all morning about how important it is to keep my mind focused on good & uplifting things. this week the theme verse at the church i work at is "and let us consider how we can spur one another on toward love & good deeds" and i'd like to add: all things non-toxic!

i hope to put more "safety nets" in my way to remind myself to avoid voluntarily reading things that make me struggle. and maybe admitting this on here is one more good net :)