August 6, 2011

where i'm from


i am from swing sets, from craft making and dirt roads.

I am from a house with a porch, a yard of barn fires, high ceilings, cows & a dog named Oreo.

I am from the wheat fields, the blue skies and the forest paths.

I am from boat rides and blue eyes, from Alvin Gerhard and Thomas clans and Dolly.

I am from beloved stubbornness and grace.

From "i love you 5" and constant laughter.

I am from Jesus lovers and worship singers.

I am from Mennonites, Metis, Roll Kuchen and fleish perisky.

From the bear by the beehives, the sadie hawkins dance, the days of faith bible camp, the high school sweethearts and the motorcycle riders.

I am from family meals, choir practices and love.

From the smell of fire, the garland at christmas, the coffee perking & sawdust.

A girl can hardly ask for more.

I stole this idea from my friend Krista who got the template from here.

August 5, 2011

dream it


do you ever find that you dream up something and then think...
"nope, won't happen"
or
"nice thought... I wish.. but, it wouldn't work.."

not that long ago I was having coffee with my sister & our friend
and we were talking about how cool it would be if we, as sisters, could be neighbours one day
see, josh & leah own a piece of land on henderson hwy
and the land beside it was vacant...
we said it would be so wonderful
our kids could wait for the school bus together
we could raise our kids together
build a giant play structure in the back yard
have porches that face one anothers houses
(although i'd probably have to close the blinds if i chose to walk around naked.. wouldn't want to scar my brother!)
wouldn't that be so nice?

my parents raised us in anola
in the beautiful country
a lot of our lives happened in the city, but we made it work
i became a master of changing into my choir uniform in the car
i helped out at my mom's work while i waited to go home
we spent many hours in the car, chatting, listening to worship music
or to "dr laura schlessinger"
we made it worth while to live out in the country
playing on haybales, helping with the cows or the chickens
but one of my most favorite things about anola
was that we lived side by side with auntie maryann & uncle nelson
we had many sleepovers there
saturday dinners, where auntie made her famous lemon meringue pie
often on christmas day we would open presents at one house
and eat at the other
they were second parents to us
and i LOVED it
how wonderful would it be to have that experience with josh & leah?
and for our kids to grow up so close together (i realize i have no kids, and none on the way, but eventually!)

anyway, we talked, and we dreamed but we figured (or at least I figured)
"its too good to be true"

however, my brother, being the determined & skillful guy that he is
was willing to do the work to make this happen
phone calls, lawyer visits, trips to the land title office
things started falling into place
i remember a couple of weeks ago josh called me and said
"it just feels like it's right, like it's what God wants to happen for us"
of course! how could i doubt that, or limit God?
he hears all our dreams and thoughts (spoken and unspoken)
and he desires good for us

so, a couple months later since our first mention of this "possibility" and here we are
proud land owners (thanks to the wonderfully generous loan from my parents)
with plans to build a house beside our family
(and only 3 minutes from the retreat house/mom & dad!)
last night we walked the land with josh & leah
and my dad happened to be driving by, and stopped in
our future! our new home
our dreams coming true!!
i want to add one thing to the picture up top
dream it
trust God with it
and do it!

it doesn't surprise me then, that God reaffirmed my thoughts with scripture
the verses that are being used this Sunday at the church that I work at
as I was typing in the scripture I couldn't help but smile
NOTHING is too big or "out there" for God

10 Then the LORD said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”
   Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?”
 13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.” 
genesis 18:10-14


July 28, 2011

perfect treat

i'm a coffee drinker
although, since my gall bladder attacks and surgery i have tried to stay away from it (a little!)
i've always enjoyed a good cup of fresh coffee and thankfully have never become "addicted" to it (aka, i don't get headaches if i don't drink it) which has allowed me to drink it as i want to

i've come to appreciate decaf and 'half-caf" (which is easy to do when i have a wonderful mother in law that is always ready with a pot of decaf for the two of us!)
typically i drink my coffee black
or iced with milk and a bit of sweetener
but i used to drink it "double double" and there is something so comforting to be found in a warm, creamy, sweet cup of coffee

i couldn't drink it like that all the time, but it is a treat once and a while

so, why this rant about how i drink my coffee?
well, i was just treated to an xl cup of double double coffee - it was brought in by a very nice gentleman that was here for a meeting, but we had some time to chat while he was waiting. he is new to faith and it is very exciting to hear him talk - last week i overheard him saying that he just wants God to be the only thing people see when they see him. what a desire! and how wonderful that already he's realized that one way to show God to people is through random kindness.

so, as he is meeting and learning more about God's promises
i am sitting here, sipping and enjoying my cup of kindness
creamy & sweet
the perfect treat this morning

God's kindness comes in all kinds of shapes & sizes

July 24, 2011

a holy & a broken hallelujah


3 years
i wonder what you would be learning
i wonder what your voice would sound like
and how curly your hair would be

i miss you all the time
and think you would have been the best big brother

you will always be the perfect little boy that made me "auntie ash"
and the most precious kid that taught me how deep i could love

i wish i could know you
and tell you again into your ear how much i love you!

you will always be loved & missed and talked about
you changed my life forever!

sweet pea
jay benjamin
happy birthday!

after Jay was born i wrote this song. 
(well, i re-wrote words to a song)
the piano is out of tune in the recording and it's pretty raw, but it's from my heart.

here are the lyrics:

i heard there was a coming joy, the blessing of a baby boy
the joy and expectation was within me
it goes like this: week four, then fifth, the third trimester & the major gift!
and from our lips we praised with "hallelujahs"!

hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah

my faith was strong didn't need the proof; proclaiming Jesus on the roof
His beauty & his love, it overtook me.
He showed himself from here to there, he knew my name, he knew every hair
I praised my God and sang out "hallelujah"

hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah

when he was born, they tried so much...
he couldn't cry, but we held & touched
great joy & desperation flowed into us
and even though it all went wrong, we wept before our Lord of song
and from our lips we wept our hallelujahs

hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah

some say they join us in our pain; sometimes they smile, and say his name
my life has changed, i would not try to fool you
and even though we can't hold on
he's held by our Lord of song
he dances and plays and laughs his hallelujahs!

and even though it all went wrong
we stand and to our Lord hold on
with a holy and a broken hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah

July 22, 2011

prince albert & banana chocolate cupcakes

friendship & transparency
in a time when it feels like there are less places to be yourself
where it is ok to struggle
or go with out makeup
where it feels like there are less people who want to be real
or ask the harder questions
when so many conversations are a struggle to bite your tongue
or where its easy to be overlooked...
in this time
it is SO good
to have a safe place
where you can be yourself
sipping coffee
oohing and ahhing over a fairytale love
asking deep questions 
over chicken balls & spring rolls
to have something to look forward to all day, all week
a time and place to relax and enjoy
whether you are 26, 29 or 37 
it is good to be among true friends.