not sad, just nostalgic. cozying up on memory lane.

do you ever have one of those moments where you are totally content about where you are in life, and wouldn't trade it... but still find yourself wishing you could go back to another time?

i'm having one of those days.
i am so content with life, being married to michael, having two wonderful families, a good job, a cozy house, experiences that have shaped me to who i am... but finding myself wishing i could travel in time and be back on the outtatown program. maybe it has to do with the book i'm reading (the time travellers wife) - he can re-experience things over and over again. some good.. and some hard. but more so than that, i think it has to do with things that trigger my memory, and allowing myself to sit comfy and cozy within that memory.

that year wasn't without it's obstacles... i distinctly remember crying with my dad on the first day of the second semester, asking to him to not make me go. but there were so many great things about that year. so many people that i miss being able to sit with, parts of my faith relationship that were so different than they are now. funny stories, carefree evenings, staying up late singing and chatting.

i miss what it felt like to hug emily, and lauren, and jo (i still get in some hugs from adrienne & cheryl in the few times i actually get around to seeing them!!). i miss listening to bucky and andy playing on their guitars for hours, sometimes letting us fall asleep while they played. i miss sipping liquados and munching on chocobananos. i miss what it felt like to be jammed into the chicken buses. i miss singing with derek. .. so many fond memories.

i wouldn't trade what i have to go back there, but it is one of those days where i wish i could cozy up in memory lane for the entire day. today it was the weakerthans that brought me back there. music is the biggest trigger for me. if i close my eyes, i can almost imagine the rest of my memory coming to the present. the sights and the smells and the tactile feelings.

In the stick count for the song with knowing you're gone
Glancing up at where you lived when you lived here
I see you suddenly alive and nearly smiling
Stop and hold my breath and watch the way we used to be

The full moon makes our faces shine like over-ironed polyester
Then disappears behind the clouds
And leaves me under empty rows of night windows

We could walk to where these streets get pulled together
Blinking, lined with gravel, shoulder squared towards an end
Where the radio resounds from doppling traffic
Where the power lines steal lessons from the hourly news
night windows : the weakerthans