stories of cabbage soup

i have two things on my mind currently. well 3 actually.

1. how much my neck hurts
2. seasonal affective disorder
3. food seniors like

quite the variety hey?

1. how much my neck hurts is the thing least on my mind of the 3. but it's there. i slept funny on Sunday night, spent Monday laying down, was a bit better on Tuesday and then kept me up all night last night. well, I slept in little pockets. I woke up multiple times to either go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. One time I also woke up because I had a cat sleeping across my throat! And one time because of a ridiculous dream. But each time it was hard to lift my head off my pillow because my muscles feel so strained. Laying down doesn't really seem to help, but I have yet to master sleeping in the standing position. anyway, moving on.

2. seasonal affective disorder:

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is episodes of depression that occur at a certain time of the year, usually during winter.

People who live in places with long winter nights are at greater risk for SAD.

Symptoms usually build up slowly in the late autumn and winter months. Symptoms are usually the same as with depression:

• Increased sleep and daytime sleepiness
• Less energy and ability to concentrate in the afternoon
• Loss of interest in work or other activities
• Slow, sluggish, lethargic movement
• Social withdrawal
• Unhappiness and irritability

Now I was reading about SAD in a magazine the other day. I have been off of my antidepressants for a good few months now and I have been feeling good. There are little bouts of struggle, but along with being on anti-depressants I think I learned a few other things that help me - being around family & a few "safe" friends, exercising, spending lots of time with Michael, spending time at home and with my cats (sounds crazy, but i really do love them, and they provide great companionship), bubblebaths and doing things I like/hobbies: cooking, baking, photography, stampin' etc., Prayer, church and being honest about where I am at. I don't feel the same as I did last year when I finally went to see someone about the depression I was in. But there are definitely more glimpses of the "symptoms" of SAD than I would openly want to admit.

The one that I struggle with most is social withdrawal. feeling unlike myself doesn't make me want to see more people, it makes me want to keep to myself. But the more I keep to myself, the more I build up the worry about seeing other people. For me, it's a vicious cycle. But for me, I have a good handful of safe friends that I can be myself entirely around. And I have great family! (and 2 nephews that are the best pick-me-up ever!) It is hard though, to try and explain to people why I don't seem to ever get together with anyone. It is hardly ever personal! (99% of the time!) But then again, all of my 'safe' friends don't really question that (at least not openly to me) so I shouldn't worry about the rest. 

I find that the more honest I am that I'm still struggling helps a lot. Even good stress is stress, and sometimes it may be effects of SAD and other times it may just be stress that is part of regular life. I try to just take life one day at a time! I am feeling very much like myself though, which is very different from last winter, and I don't take that for granted.

3. food seniors like

once a month the seniors at the church I work at get together for a "friendship group lunch". I love the seniors of this church. I have gotten to know most of them better than anyone else in the church (most other age groups aren't in the church building during the week in the daytime). They always stop to chat and always have nothing but kind things to say. I also love that they call it "friendship group lunch". I look forward to being a senior! (i'm in no rush, I just hope that I like it as much as I anticipate liking it!) 

anyway, back to the point. Every month they have the same thing, with just a slight change. Every month it is soup, a bun and some type of platz. Now, I love a good bowl of soup, but so far all of the soups have been cabbage with a few other things and spices to change it up. But every month, there it is again, cabbage soup. Reminds me of Charlie & the Chocolate factory, and how Charlies family survives on Cabbage Soup. Not my favorite. Plus, all morning it smelled like lasagna, and then.. it was cabbage soup with a few kidney beans! But, they share with me every time so I'm not really complaining.

I just wonder, do you get to a certain age where you crave cabbage soup & platz? I love baking, and I never feel the desire to bake platz. Is that "sacrilegious" as a mennonite to say that?? I enjoy a piece of platz once and awhile, but every time? Maybe I should create a suggestion box so I can put a suggestion in it once and awhile. A good coffee cake to offset the cabbage soup. no? just me??

anyway, that is my mind this afternoon. Now to run some errands and go to school, while trying to keep my neck as still as possible!