His Truth and Light

I bind unto myself today
The gift to call on the Trinity
The saving faith where I can say
Come three in one, oh one in three

Be above me, as high as the noonday sun
Be below me, the rock I set my feet upon
Be beside me, the wind on my left and right
Be behind me, oh circle me with Your truth and light

I bind unto myself today
The love of Angels and Seraphim
The prayers and prophesies of Saints
The words and deeds of righteous men

God’s ear to hear me
God’s hand to guide me
God’s might to uphold me
God’s shield to hide me
Against all powers deceiving
Against my own unbelieving
Whether near or far

I bind unto myself today
The hope to rise from the dust of earth
The songs of nature giving praise
To Father, Spirit, Living Word

The Lorica / Gayle Salmond
(from the album Devotion, by Steve Bell)
Copyright K-Dawn Music, 2008

an unexpected rainbow on a rainy day

yesterday michael surprised me and spoiled me
he knew that i had a hard week and that yesterday was a really sad day

so i came home to find this sitting by the door:

inside the box with the bow i found these:

inside the little bag was jewelery that michael went and picked out for me:









then he told me to get dressed up, because we had reservations. he took me to Rembrandts and we had a very delicious meal. it was a good time just being together and feeling very special, that's forsure. not that he NEEDED to do this, but that he wanted to

I am very thankful for michael.

it takes two to tango, do the dance of love

stress is a funny thing

yesterday it hit me like a really heavy bag of bricks sitting on my shoulders.
it just made me feel so tired.

i lost my keys and i literally just lay in my bed crying. over keys!
I couldn't believe it!!

so i was thinking about it, and i say its a funny thing because you learn to function with it, under it, among it... it just becomes part of everyday. and then one day it just hits you, and you cry over keys.

i realized on the weekend at the womens retreat that my heart is still just so incredibly sad. i knew that i was sad, i think about Jay all the time, but I don't cry every day, or even every week anymore. but I think about him all the time. i taped a little paper bluejay onto my computer screen, and thinking about him... and about the love that was for him, because of him and from him, somedays I just let myself be lost in it. but my heart... is still just so sad.

also, i've been spending a lot of time with my Grandma, and she is just so special to me. I like to just sit with her, and watch her and talk with her. She is a very important part of who I am, and its stressful to see her so sick. also, i want to spend as much time with her as I can, because I dont want to have any regrets or feelings that I didn't get enough time with her, but then I find myself coming home and eating supper late and not resting. i hope this doesn't come across as complaining. it is entirely my choice to go be with my Grandma and I wouldn't have it another way.

on top of it, there are big changes at work. surprisingly enough, they don't worry me. but change does equal stress. even good change equals stress. part of the stress comes in that we dont know what is all included in the changes, so we are just trying to get as much done as we can possibly cram into a day. I am thankful for Yvonne, she keeps me going! but change still equals stress

i just feel really tired, but that doesn't help when you feel like there are a million things to do!
i don't like feeling "busy", or not having time to be with my family. but i don't like feeling like we aren't seeing our friends or investing time in them... because that is not what friends are for! we need to be there for one another. there is just not enough time in a day!!

stress is a funny thing, in that it has kind of become my silent friend... which chooses to sit on me at random times, and make me cry over losing my keys (which were found this morning at my parents place)

i know that God very willingly takes our stress, and longs to become our friend inplace of the stress. i often know how to give it to him, and then for whatever reason i reclaim it. that choice never really makes sense to me! so now i'm in the process of giving up on this "friend"... and switching it for Jesus.

i just love it when i have people that will just be with me. i feel like i can't do a whole lot right now, but just like to be with people. especially people who know my heart is sad and still sit with me, and laugh with me... because i still do that a lot.

i was listening to a song on my ipod this morning, its a louis armstrong song called "two to tango" (i don't know if he wrote it, just that he was singing it on my ipod) i don't even know where I'm going with this, except to say that it made me smile and made me think about life being a "tango", and it really does take two. Jesus and me, or else i just flail around looking ridiculous... so true!

here comes the sun... and i say it's alright

so.... i would love to be here right now:
BUT! alas I am not...

however I am simply loving the weather today. it was 27 degrees in the office today, which was far too hot. but, stepping outside after work was simply wonderful.

i came home, put on my rubber boots and just enjoyed being outside. i spread out the remaining snow that is on the front yard, in hopes that by tomorrow evening it will all be gone.

then i decided to clean up the backyard a bit, and then I re-discovered our fire pit! so... i went downstairs, got out the saw I got for christmas from my thoughtful husband :) and went to cutting up a fallen chunk of tree!

after awhile i got a little fire going, and then i went inside... changed into shorts and...

flip flops!

i got out my book, put a towel over my beach/lawn chair... and read my book by my fire!

today was Grandma's biopsy.. and it sounds like it went well. so now we wait and trust. and thank God for the wonderful weather... finally!

76... 77... 78!!

today is grandma's birthday.

she is just such a wonderful lady...

you know what i admire about her?

she always puts others before herself, she prays and trusts God with her life, she loves her family so much

she is an amazing baker, and rarely uses recipes. one time i asked her to tell me her recipe for something and she said "well, i normally throw in a pinch of this, and then, well i add flour until it feels right." ... my recipe didn't turn out quite as well!

she always knows my voice on the phone. all i have to say is "hi grandma" and she knows its me! i always thought that was impressive.

she is very humble. she's told me before that her life story isn't very exciting or anything, but when she starts telling me stories... wow.

she is so nervous and scared about whatever is making her sick, but her spirits are still so high. she knows how to joke around and laughs often.

my grandma is just such an amazing lady, and i just love being with her. happy birthday grandma!!