he knows our need. to our weakness, no stranger.

so this is christmas...

christmas is different this year. it's different every year, and i think it will continue to be different every year. so far we've spent the day with my parents and josh and leah, and it has been good for our family to just be together.

tonight we will go to michael's parents place and spend tonight and tomorrow (except the part of the day that i have to work... grumble grumble...) with them. which will be entirely different, but also good to just be together.

satisfy us in the morning with your love...

my dad just put on a steve bell cd. i think that the music and the words in steve bell songs/cds often soothe my soul.

match the days Lord, of our sorrow with your joy...

i think that i am forever changed. and i will never fully be able to describe it, or understand it. which is part of the beauty and the mystery of the Lord. i have learnt to pray to Jesus with a different kind of sincerity. i have had doubt in God like i have never before. and i am learning the pain of feeling helpless. the details of all of these are probably something i will always keep to myself, but are things that have and will continue to change me and my family. and one day, out of the pain, it will be beautiful.

god our protector, keep us in mind.

Truth is always strong, no matter how weak it looks; and falsehood is always weak, no matter how strong it looks. (Phillip Brooks). a quote that was shared with me by my dear grandma. and was a reminder to me of God's consistency. he is truth. always. the truth is God loves... no matter how weak Satan can make that statement seem.

theres noone to turn to, if you don't come through. in your love, remember me. all because of your goodness Lord. in your love remember us. my hoping is keeping me sane, again and again... in your love remember me. (steve bell lyrics)