only a few days ago it was still bright, sunny and warm. and today, the biggest fluffiest snowflakes are filling the sky.
it is blustery.
everyone around me seems to be shocked that it's snowing. i always think its funny how people who have lived here their whole lives are still shocked when the snow falls! but every year in october we are "surprised" by these delightful fluffy flakes. i'm not surprised. nor am i upset.
snow falling to me is like rain falling. peaceful. tranquil. fresh. fascinating.
what a cool creator we have. that he thinks of transitioning our world from season to season with changes in color, and sprinkles the season change on us from the heavens.
since April I have literally been holding my breath for winter. this part, however is not normal for me. I may love the snow, but fall is most certainly my favorite. and i do love the summer because it means wearing flip flops, drinking lemonade and being at the cabin. But this year is different.
one normal day in April I received a text from my sister who I love so much, saying that she was dropping by to drop off something with Josh. We were off to caregroup that night, but we had some time to have them stop by. Leah told me she had read some stuff on my blog and was thinking of me. i love how my family knows my heart. and we are together in the happiness and the deepest sorrow. my sisters heart and my heart know one another! She handed me a card, and I opened it and had to read it 3 times before i looked up at her and knew.
We were being invited to a birthday party in december. just less then 9 months away. i was going to be an auntie for the 2nd time. it was like opening a card with a fresh wind of hope. a little taste of our lives being restored. Jay is getting a baby brother or sister! and I am the most blessed auntie.
since then my heart has been longing for the winter.
since then i have seen ultrasound pictures of this little one. i've found out whether i'm waiting for a niece or a nephew (but i'm not telling you!). i've felt the kicks, the pushes, and the strokes of this little one. i like to think we're already friends, baby and I.
I love how God restores. I love that even tho we wonder why it has to be SO cold, He still knows what is needed for our land. he knows when to let the rain pour, or the snow float down.
and my favorite part, God knows how to fill this heart of mine with even more love. i think that the more nieces or nephews that come into my life will only continue to expand my heart. the piece of my heart that is Jay's will ALWAYS be his. and so God continues to grow my heart, open it up and fill all of those spaces with love. for each one.
some people see winter as bleak, cold, grey... this year I see it with eyes of hope, and restoration and anticipation for all that is coming.
*the subject is from this song we sang in WMCC. i never used to like it, but i really do now:
O snow, which sinks so light,
Brown earth is hid from sight,
O soul, be thou as white as snow.
O snow, which falls so slow,
Dear earth quite warm below;
O heart, so keep thy glow,
Beneath the snow.
O snow, in thy soft grave
Sad flowers the winter brave;
O heart, so soothe and save,
As does the snow.
The snow must melt, must go,
Fast, fast as water flow.
Not thus, my soul, O sow
Thy gifts to fade like snow.
O snow, thou art white no more,
Thy sparkling too, is o’er;
O soul, be as before,
Was bright the snow.
Then as the snow all pure,
O heart be, but endure,
Through all the years full sure,
Not as the snow.
(C. Alice Elgar)
