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i've become really bad at this blogging thing...

but i thought i'd sit down now and write something!

today is my very first photography class! i'm quite nervous.. everyone keeps reassuring me, but I'm still very nervous... i don't know exactly where it is, what it'll be like, how many people there will be, will other people be using film or will everyone else be digital? all of these unknowns! I don't even know where to park! so, i will be going early and will probably sit in my car once i find where i'm going. kinda lame, but that's the way i am!

i was hoping to sleep in this morning, i've had a very busy week! it's only 11:45 am and my feet are already asking me to sit down!! i woke up to the sound of both of my dad's chatting outside my window, so i was up. i spent a little bit of time playing at my piano... and weeping. one of those sad mornings where i just need to sit, sing and cry.

i was brought back to a few years ago (2006) as I sang "tis so sweet to trust in Jesus"
i closed my eyes and i could remember walking through the woods on the path from my parents place to my grandma & grandpa's. Grandpa was already quite sick at this point, pretty close to when he went into the hospital. He had called me and told me that he would like me to help him choose some songs for his funeral, so I was walking to his place. I walked very slowly that day, feeling my heart grow heavier at the reality of that situation. and then this song came to mind, and i walked even slower as I sang "Jesus, Jesus... how I trust you. How I've proved you o'er & o'er.. Jesus Jesus, precious Jesus. Oh for strength to trust you more!!"

this morning I was brought back to that moment, and it began to interweave with my feelings of grief now. i took new notice of a line in one of the verses today: just from Jesus simply taking, life & rest, & joy & peace ... and i just spent some time thinking about how freely Jesus offers all of these things to us, life, rest, joy & peace. no matter how I've been angry with him, or been frustrated, or absent. he continues to freely give. Oh for strength to trust him MORE.

i had the pleasure of phoebe's company for a little while this morning, so that was nice. and then i baked.. for 3 1/2 hours straight. What do I have to show for myself this morning: a nicely made bed, a load of clean dishes, done., a pile of dirty dishes from baking in the sink, 3 loads of laundry, a texas sheet cake, a container of icing (i made too much!), 60 vanilla pudding cookies, 60 chocolate pudding cookies, & clean hair! woo. quite the accomplishment :)

tomorrow is the appreciation party for my mom, I think it will be fun. And then we have the Come, Walk & Pray at mom and dad's new land.. I'm very much looking forward to it.

oh! and on Monday, I get to work at my new desk... we moved from upstairs to downstairs at our office, so I'm looking forward to it.

Anyways, time to get ready for my class!