a friend in all kinds of weather

I seem to be a fair-weather friend to writing.

I write when I need to, when I want to, and I don't write if I am busy or preoccupied or tired.

As far as blogging is concerned, that's really ok. I don't have to write on here, I do so because it's a creative outlet for me, and since I like reading the blogs of friends of mine, I figure why not write on here as I feel like it.

However, I feel like I am not writing enough in general. I used to want to be an author just because I loved putting words together and loved how it felt & sounded to type. I love the click-clack of a typewriter and even a keyboard. (one "downside" of macs - in my opinion - is the virtually silent keyboard. Didn't they know of my love for the click-clackiness of it, and consider that before catering to most peoples preferences?! ha) I would never pursue being a writer for the same reasons I would never pursue being a photographer (and I also think partially why I decided to not pursue the job in music that I went to school for). Just because you love something doesn't mean it's the right fit for a job. (Which, I should clarify doesn't mean you shouldn't love your job. I am a secretary and love it!)

With photography and writing and music I do it because I love it.
Having a career in it, for me, would demand things to happen a certain way, on a certain schedule, with certain amounts (or in HUGE amounts.. in my mind) of pressure. And my creative side does not thrive under those conditions. My creativity, much like the rest of my personality is stubborn to the core.

So I photograph for fun, but would never do a wedding, or something that can't be "redone". Not because I don't think I could do it, but because it takes some of the fun out and replaces it with pressure to be a certain way.

With music, I decided not to pursue music therapy (for many reasons) and to just sing, play piano and play the guitar for the love of it, and for fun, and in worship.

And with writing.. I love to write as it comes to mind. To open up the page in my journal, to take out a sheet of looseleaf, to open to the composing page on my blog and just start writing.. see where it takes me. Sometimes I have a topic or point in mind, but other times, the times I feel most like I'm writing just as myself, it just comes on its own.

But writing for me also helps me with my prayer life, and in that way, I would like to become less of a fair weather friend, and more of a companion. I do also pray without writing it down, but there is also something unique about prayer thru writing.

One of my favourite things to do occasionally when I write out my prayers is to just start writing without formulating my thoughts first. Sometimes I am surprised (not sure if that's totally the right word) to re-read it when I'm done writing and see the conversation that was going on between God & I. Sometimes my writing is not in first person, and it's like God doing the writing.

It seems the busier I get, the less time I make for things like that. And shouldn't it be the opposite? Shouldn't that be the first thing I go to, and put other, non-important things to the side? I'm a work in progress.. so I'm learning.

so here's to writing, to conversations and to creativity. It is good to just let myself be me.