mountains

i used to want to be a writer - because i liked the feeling of the keyboard, the sound of how it clicked and watching my thoughts appear on the screen ahead of me
i used to want to be a trucker - because i could eat donuts all day and burp without anyone telling me not to (i was much younger when this was my dream...)
i used to want to be a speech therapist - to help people overcome issues that keep them from being able to fully express themselves, and help people overcome obstacles in their way
i currently still wish to be a rec therapist - i am currently working part time as one - but i don't yet get to do the job entirely (charting etc) because i am not yet done the schooling
right now though.. right now.. i just want to be settled.

i feel like i'm surrounded by mini mountains - mini obstacles.
trusting God & following a .4 job - which caused me to run face first into a new mountain of leaving a full time job. those of you who have heard the whole story know the ins & outs of this situation.
it is hard for me because i feel out of control.. i'm job sharing my position as they look for my replacement and i feel as though i'm constantly sorting my way out of a foggy foggy day. i sort the work, the emails, the letters, the cheques, the orders, the invoices, the messages into piles and start.. one by one.

i'm waiting to hear back from one potential job, and trying to fully decide about a 2nd interview i've been offered for another position. clarity? i suppose the best way to find clarity in this is on my knees - prayer & trust. sounds so easy!

thankfully amongst all of these mountains there are beautiful sights. multiple hugs a day from one of my ladies, an encouraging "you're really good at helping us" from one of my favorite gentlemen, an invitation back for future conversations with a lady that is normally very quiet, a tearful moment with a very special lady going through loss, the sound of my nephew learning new "words" to babble, the sight of wratw coming to fruition, the fact that my grandma still has the same humor - trust - faith - love despite all of her circumstances, and last night - the invitation from one of my ladies to "watch my favorite television show with me" she said she'd been hoping all day to bump into me so she could invite me to 'hang out'

such wonderful things. now if only i could feel settled!

oh what peace we often forfeit
oh what needless pain we bear
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer...

a song i've sung to my grandma a few times over the last week - so true for me everyday.
trust & pray!