here are some of my halloween costumes of the past... my miss piggy one is the costume i remember fondly. i also remember it quite clearly, although that may be because we have a very funny home video of josh & i on that halloween. it's my favorite video because we're not doing much, but it's a glimpse into the life of the klassen's in anola.
happy halloween, may it be a fun day with all of your kids, dressing up and getting treats!
OK - stands for 2 things in this post Olga Klassen - my most wonderful grandma, who I miss constantly and am so thankful for. and OK - is how I'm doing, today it has been one year without her, and it feels like it was just yesterday and also like it has been much longer. i keep a picture of her hands in my office at work. they were so representative of who she is. they were calloused from a lot of hard work. they were strong. they were used to make endless meals and buns "something to bite" (as grandpa always said..) for her family. they were serving. they were loving. they were constantly folded in prayer & thanksgiving. one thing i really miss is how she used to hold my hand when i was telling her something serious or hard. there is so much i wish i could be telling her now. but, one thing i have no regret about, is that i have NO DOUBT that my grandma knew how much i loved her. and i know it was mutual.
here is the slide show my auntie made for grandma's funeral. watch it if you have a minute, and see a little glimpse into the life of my wonderful grandma
so i realize it may be too soon for some of you to see a photo of snow.. i mean, it's only october!
but i have winter memories on the brain today.
when i woke up and looked out the window i couldn't get over how beautiful it was outside
there was a layer of frost over everything, and there was a heavy, thick fog. not the easiest for driving, but hey, it was beautiful. and my drive to work is only 5 minutes so i could afford to go extra slow.
i love the crispness in the air, and the way the ground was crunching under my shoes
i love that i get to wear a nice warm sweater today and drink a hot mug of tea.
and this afternoon i'm going to go to michaels for a little shopping trip.. to get stuff to make christmas cards. winter is just around the corner.
when i was walking to get my tea i had to pass through a bunch of cars idling in the drive thru, the smell of the exhaust and the near by gas station in the air made my mind fill with memories of winter, specifically the smell of the exhaust from snowmobiling with my dad. being snuggled up in my warm winter coat, snow pants, scarves, mittens.. waiting for my dad to pull up with the sled. building forts with my brother and digging tunnels in the ditches. seeing the frost build up on my dad's mustache. coming inside for a warm drink with my mom. and.. getting stuck in the middle of a stack of haybales... winter is full of good memories and adventures.
i'm not looking forward to the endless cold, come january... but the crisp air only brought back the good memories for now :)
with michael away all weekend I tried to fill up all of my time studying i have my dreaded music history (studies in 19th century music) midterm tomorrow my prof is a musical genius. he knows everything there is to know about music history, and i genuinely think that every day that he gets to teach, his head pops off his pillow with excitement that he gets to share his love of music with another sleepy eyed class. that's probably what gives him the energy to bike to school on the coldest days (and he bikes in jeans, a dress shirt and a blazer. the best!) sadly, my head does not pop off the pillow with the same enthusiasm i'm probably the one "music student" that strongly dislikes the study of music but i want to finish my degree, and 2 music history courses are standing in my way, so i've chosen to just take them, head on. but i'm just tired.
we finally convinced my prof to give us a list of terms & composers to learn for the test. his first answer was "but then you will only learn those terms. i want you to know the whole text book!" hmm not going to happen! Instead he gave us about 40 terms/composers and 19 songs to learn as well. we have a listening portion as part of the test, he plays a 30 second clip and you have to identify the title, composer, year, genre & 4 characteristics of the piece. more than one of the 19 pieces we have to know is over an hour long... it's been a long weekend!
in just over 12 hours I will be writing the exam, and I will be so glad when it is over. i want to do well, but right now i'm frazzled. i have been having to take breaks, or else my eyes just glaze over my cue cards. right now i'm typing as i listen to one of the hour long pieces.
my plan is to try and be in bed around 10:30, wake up around 6, get a big starbucks americano, drive to the school, and glaze over my cue cards right up until the minute my prof says we can start writing. i'm a crammer all the way :)
cue cards and coffee. necessities for music students.
on thursday next week it will be one year since life without grandma
i miss her so incredibly much
this year has been without her, physically
but she has left such an impact on my life
and I think on the lives of everyone in our family
we had a klassen birthday party last weekend
and we talked about grandma, and grandpa
my auntie had brought some old photo albums to give to everyone
and this was one of the pictures in my album
which made me think of both of them all that much more
we were showing the pictures to everett
pointing people out and telling him who they were
he seemed quite confused when we showed him a picture of daddy & auntie.. where we were both little kids. he said "auntie??" and "daddy??" looking at us like, really??
but the thing that stood out for me was that without any prompting
Ev kept pointing at my grandpa saying "poppa!" (what he calls my dad)
it made me smile because Ev never knew grandpa, yet he knows grandpas character
through my dad
just like my grandpa, my dad is a hard worker. with a gracious spirit
quiet strength and a LOT of patience
just like my dad, my grandpa could do anything
and always encouraged us that we can be anything
before grandpa died he asked us to do 2 things as a family
1. take care of grandma
2. stay united as a family
so much to learn from grandpa
this weekend the klassen boys are going on their annual "klassen canoe trip" although, they won't be canoeing much this weekend, since it's so cold. but they will be camping together, spending time, united, as a family. i think grandpa would be so proud
grandma has been very present in my life this year
in showing me how to live graciously
and to be a hard worker, servant hearted
and to know how to laugh easily.
i miss so much about her.
i am so thankful that they are both happy & strong in heaven
I'm having one of those days the kind of days that you'd either like to skip ahead so they are over or go back in time to start them over again a few things, struggles, conversations, situations, have caused me some anxiety and disappointment this week i feel like i fell asleep last night with too many of these thoughts in my head, because i had a night full of dreams that felt very real, and were very sad, that i woke up feeling less than good this morning i stayed in bed a bit too long, to the point where i had myself almost convinced that i could stay in there a few more hours and no one would mind. thankfully my cat walked on top of me enough that i realized i'd at least have to get out of bed to go to the washroom (they always seem to want to lay right across my bladder, guess it's softer than a hip bone or my legs/feet!) and once i was up i knew it was time to get moving. i pulled out an autumnish outfit, and smiled to myself as i stepped out into the crisp air but then, i had too much time to think, too many things to stew over and over analyze. and now it's the afternoon and i feel like i've wasted the morning stewing in self pity and disappointment. i would like a break a vacation a nice long rest even just from my own minds critique! i would love to be the lady in the picture. on a beautiful beach, with crashing waves. with a nice dress, cute shoes, and a fun umbrella to shield myself but, I am here, and it's quite frankly just time to start some positive thinking. to put things in the past and leave them there and to start the rest of my day fresh. unless someone wants to take me away to that beach? :)
for anyone wishing they had made their own thanksgiving dinner... I put up a new post on my recipe blog, outlining the whole dinner, start to finish. you can read that here.
i have had a lot on my mind lately, I often get nostalgic around holidays, and more introspective when i'm busy (which is the case right now with being in school and working) I have also been a lot more emotional (I am off my anti-depressants and have found that the tears flow a lot more frequently, and easily. but i'm ok with that right now)
This morning in church there were so many songs that brought me to tears. i think it's also because i am becoming more aware of the holy spirit and the way that he speaks to us and nudges us - i'm doing a bible study with a few girls on the fruit of the spirit and the first two weeks have had a good focus on the Holy Spirit in general, and ways that the Holy Spirit works, etc, so I have been thinking about this a lot more. Instead of a sermon this morning, the elders of the church lead a lot of sharing time, and people were able to stand up and share what they were thankful for. I have a lot to be thankful for... my husband, 2 wonderful families, 2 nephews and another baby on the way for me to be an auntie to, a new & welcoming church family, a house that i feel warm & comfortable in, 2 cats that keep me company and make me laugh, many friends - both here and far (bc, ontario & alaska specifically), a legacy of faith within my family and especially from the examples of my grandparents, luxuries like a nice car and a bank account that is never completely empty, the freedom to vote, to worship, to have an opinion (thank goodness or I'd be in a lot of trouble most of the time! ha ha), a love for worship and a voice that I can use in that way, a plot of land that will soon have a new home beside 2 of our best friends - josh & leah, health, a lot of laughter, the chance to go back to school & graduate this year, good jobs (that we love) and the "abundance & faithfulness of christ" (as someone put it this morning in church). and so much more, i could write for days and not be done.. which reminds me of one of my favourite lines in my favourite hymn -
"could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made. were every stalk on earth a quill and everyone a scribe by trade - to write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry, nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky... the love of God - how rich and pure, how measureless & strong. it shall forever more endure the saints & angels song"
I understand the rules, I can remember a lot of the players names
as well as team names (one time last year mike & russ didn't believe me, so they tested me, and I think I did pretty good!)
hockey is nostalgic for me
i remember the many afternoons at the hazelridge rink
cheering on my brothers team
and playing with all the other "hockey sisters" in the arena
but mostly, hockey reminds me of my grandpa klassen
we often slept over at grandma & grandpas house on devon avenue on saturday nights
and grandpa had a saturday night ritual
hockey night in canada
i remember grandma would run me a bath and i would splash around in there
(you kinda had to splash.. since grandma & grandpa would only ever fill the tub with about 2-3 inches of water! good mennonites, conserving water *smile*)
once I was done and I had changed into my pjs grandpa would have me come join him to watch the hockey game.
he would pull out his black comb that he always kept in his shirt pocket
and he would gently and patiently comb through my long blonde hair
i had long hair, and it was often full of tangles
but grandpa didn't mind
he would often have some kind of treat for us while we watched
a bag of smarties was often the treat
and grandpa believed that we needed to savour them - that it was quite silly to grab a handful of smarties and chew them up all at the same time
so we ate them, one at a time
slowly, enjoying
thats how grandpa was - always looking for ways to savour everything - enjoy it to the fullest
once the game was over (or it was time for bed) we'd go to the kitchen for our "midnight snack"
a bowl of cornflakes with a sprinkle of brown sugar and a few slices of banana
then we would get tucked in, tuckered out, and happy
i really miss my grandpa
so, hockey makes me nostalgic, and i can't help but get excited with all the hoopla over the jets.
there is something wonderful about a city that rallies behind it's team
i have even got teary reading newspaper interviews with the new jets team.
it's going to be fun to have the nhl back in our city
hot 103 put out this song - basically they re-wrote the words to lmfao's party rock anthem to be all about the jets, and i can't help smiling the whole time that I listen to it.
the official season is about to start - and with nostalgia and excitement.. i can't wait!
this morning at kilcona we sang a song that is still fairly new to me, but i just love it it's called "reign in us" by starfield
pastor bruce is starting a series on the abundant life, (abundant giving, abundant joy and abundant freedom are 3 parts of the series) and the contrast to that of the desires of satan on our lives to steal, kill and destroy - and satan is playing for keeps.
i've always loved the fact that Jesus came to give us a full abundant life. a life to over flowing. bruce made a light hearted comment about people who love coke.. that if you over fill your cup and it spills over, you slurp it off the counter because you don't want to miss any of it. imagine a life like that, where it is so over full of joy and freedom that you are slurping up every last bit rather than sitting idly by, somewhat satisfied with whatever is filling you up.
we sang the song i mentioned earlier, reign in us, this morning during worship, and there were a few lines that just stuck with me
with one desire we come, that you would reign in us
and
we cry out for your life to revive us cry out for your love to define us
is that how i'm living? with that desire, for that revival and definition? i so want that. but am i daily seeking that abundant life that is offered to me?
i had the privilege of spending the day with some friends & family, everett included my mom and i have talked many times about how watching everett makes us understand why God says "let the little children come" - ev knows how to live an abundant life. with no inhibitions he shows his excitement, his wonder, his curiosity, his freedom, and it is contagious to be around him.
we spent the day at a bizarre pumpkin patch, you'd have to see it yourself to understand it, but, as my sister said later, the redeeming factor was how much Everett enjoyed it. the way he enjoys so many things, with eyes wide open.
can you imagine how overwhelmingly wonderfully abundant the life is that God wants for me, for you? and it comes when we just simply ask him to reign. but it has to be daily.. and i'm working on it. i'm really looking forward to this series.
here are the rest of the lyrics to that song:
You thought of us before the world began to breathe You knew our names before we came to be You saw the very day we fall away from you and how desperately we need to be redeemed lord Jesus come lead us we're desperate for your touch Oh great and mighty one with one desire we come that you would reign that you would reign in us we're offering up our lives a living sacrifice that you would reign that you would reign in us Spirit of the living God fall fresh again come search our hearts and puify our lives we need your perfect love we need your discipline we're lost unless you guide us with your light lord Jesus come lead us we're desperate for your touch Ohgreatand mighty one with one desire we come that you would reign that you would reign in us we're offering up our lives a living sacrifice that you would reign that you would reign in us we cry out for your life to revive us cry out for your love to define us cry out for your mercy to keep us blameless until you return ohgreatand mighty one with one desire we come that you would reign that you would reign in us
