6 months

I can hardly believe that it has already been half a year (and more, since I'm late in posting this... again!) since my beautiful girl was born into this world!! I can still remember what her first cry sounded like, and how good and natural it felt to finally hold her, my daughter, in my arms!

the last 6 months have flown by, and I have already started thinking about the fact that in the same amount of time from now - she will be one! So much is changing so quickly, and we are just constantly so thankful for her!

here is her monthly update - as always, click on the image to make it large enough to read everything!
(the picture on the right is michael's favorite picture of Matilda. He loves that her eyes are watering because she was smiling so much!! It definitely represents our sweet girl)

remembering.

I have always been a fan of worship music - no matter how new or how old. I love me a good solid hymn with 4 part harmony (and the occasional "descant" if we want to really get crazy), I love the newest most contemporary styles as well. And really, everything in between! My iPod playlists will often contain a mixture of gaithers to iron & wine. I'm not picky really. One thing I do love, is playing or singing an "old" song (old being a relative term here) and rediscovering it. Either the way the melody ebbs & flows or fits into my favorite register of my voice, or rediscovering the poetic phrases in the lyrics, or a combo of the two if I'm lucky!

I have compiled all of my worship music into one large binder. It contains all kinds of gems in there. And often, just when I need it - I will flip "randomly" to a song, and it will fit exactly where I am at with my thoughts. Today was one of those days. I flipped to the song "We Worship You" by Jane Martens. I have always loved the melody of this song, and today the words fit perfectly into my thoughts, especially the second verse:

We worship You, we come before Your throne
To see Your face Lord, for You have cleansed us
And called us Your own
We worship You and even in pain
We know You've redeemed us
And we'll never be the same

So because of Your grace and Your unfailing love
Because of Your faithfulness we lift You up
Because of Your word and Your righteous ways
We offer to You Lord this sacrifice of praise

I have been thinking a lot about what our lives look like as Christians. How are we supposed to be different, and how are we supposed to be "in the world" as well. These thoughts are largely due to those around me - I have been surrounded by the whole spectrum these days it seems. I have a new friend who is a new Christian - and making this decision has required huge sacrifice. I have others around me that are being very obedient in our call as Christians - which sometimes requires a huge change in our lives and often pushes us out of our comfort zone, or inviting others in, which also challenges our comfort zone. I have also been witness to the other extreme of the spectrum, with those who once were on the same page as me, and have now expanded their "God box" and are walking a dangerous line of interpreting God's word to fit our situation and desires. 

When we are spiritual and earthly peers to one another, we will just naturally compare our experiences to others, our views, our thoughts, our nudgings of the Spirit. So I have been thinking a lot about what do I want my life to be like, how do I want others to see Christ in me, and how do I want Christ to see me every minute of every day. How do I walk along side of a new Christian, and also those who are struggling? 

We have the luxury (and I really do see it as a luxury) of having a huge community of faith around us. We have had the opportunity recently to seek out the council of our spiritual authority in our church (our lead pastor) as well as conversations with peers. We have open communication in our family unit of Michael and I, as well as both of our extended families. We have friends and peers. We have people in our lives who commit to praying for us, while we commit to praying for others. People who encourage us while we use our energies to encourage others. Community, a luxury, and a necessity for spiritual health. 

One of the other opportunities recently for me has been attending a Beth Moore bible study at Women Refreshed at the Well. It is called "Laws of Love" and it is a short study on the book of Deuteronomy. I have been so thankful for this study so far. One of the major parts that has stuck in my mind has been on the point of Spiritual Amnesia. Here are some of the points Beth makes on that (someone on the internet has posted these notes- so it is not verbatim, just the notes of another person doing this bible study):

Deuteronomy 8:2,11,14,18,19:
Spiritual amnesia kills people, churches, integrity, promise.
V2: and you shall remember
V11: take care let you forget
V14: then your heart be lifted up, and you forget
V18: you shall remember
V19: and if you forget
The only way to keep from forgetting is to remember!
Remembering is the key to not forgetting!

My story is my ministry. My story is the reason why I have the sanity to put 4 words together to make sense. All for His glory!

There is a thin line between taking for granted what God has done and taking credit for it. When we stop remembering, we have forgotten; It will bring us back to bondage every time.
We cry out and we start again in hopes to make it right this time. It's an endless cycle. Make it stop.

This has fit so well into my thoughts these days. With both my friend that is a new Christian, and those on the other end - one is in a place of realizing what God is doing - and working so hard at remembering, and the other is in the place of beginning to forget. Through all of it, I am realizing that it is our job as Christians to work at REMEMBERING. To keep God involved and at the centre of everything we do so that our story - the way we live, our life in all aspects - points back to God and what He has done. 

I've been reminded yet again that being a Christian is a verb not a noun (ha, I feel like Dr. Phil here - he always says "now I'm going to put verbs in my sentences"). God is not a box that we can widen - his word is very clear and God needs to be the only thing we measure ourself against. The minute we try to fit God around our sins and earthly tendencies, is the minute that we have started to forget. Being a Christian is work! It requires sacrifice (either materialistic things, or not giving into sinful desires etc). 

And this is where I (finally) fit the song into it all. The last line of the song always hits me. "We offer to You Lord, this sacrifice of praise."The way that we worship God, is by continually offering ourselves to him, all parts - even the parts that we so desperately want to cling to. But when we work at remembering - the sacrifice is put into perspective, and it really is just all about worship & praise and then we realize that this sacrifice is hardly a sacrifice at all once we realize where we are because of God. 

"You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the shepherd of your souls." 1 Peter 2:25