being me?

ever feel like you're stuck between two worlds?
sometimes i feel young, like I am just on the cusp of so many new beginnings
and other times I find myself feeling older than my 26 years

I guess I am somewhat of a mixture of the two
just sometimes i feel like i should spend a lot of time explaining myself rather than just being myself. however, that could likely just be my own insecurity.

with the new year about to start in just a couple of days i've been thinking about the idea of resolutions. some years i've made more "extreme" resolutions (one year i didn't eat fries, chocolate or drink pop for the whole year... the year was not as tasty as it could be!!) and other years i don't even give it a second thought to even contemplate making any. this year i'm thinking, maybe i should make a resolution to find ways to just be me - to enjoy it and to grow in confidence.

i'm feeling like this is making more sense in my head...

time for bed!

on a different note.. my husband is the world greatest drummer.
super talented & just loves playing. watching him makes me smile the whole time. he is great!

felix navidad from fargo

michael & i decided to come to fargo for a few days this week
i had some holidays left to take before the end of the year, so I decided to take them before & after Christmas. we had wanted to go away for our anniversary in September, but a financially hard summer left us realizing that spending money on a hotel would not be the smartest thing at the time
so, this is a late anniversary, early christmas get away

i'm writing from our room at the wingate hotel in fargo
i got us upgraded to a king sized bed (i had the BEST sleep last night. surrounded by at least 4 pillows!)
we got here yesterday around lunch, and then found out that our hotel has a "happy hour" where they put out free appetizers (yesterday we had salad, chips & salsa, trail mix  - they also had mashed potatoes & pulled pork!! - tonight we had salad, chips & salsa, pizza & wings!) as well as free beer & wine. we had enough there tonight that we won't be having supper.

we have shopped, swam, sat in the hot tub, watched mini marathons of 2 of our favourite tv shows and enjoyed restaurants that we don't have in manitoba (space aliens yesterday & qdoba today)

it has been wonderfully relaxing & so fun to just hang out the two of us. tomorrow morning we'll sleep in, enjoy a free breakfast at the hotel, do a little more shopping (have to get in a 2nd trip to target) and then head home in the later afternoon i think.

there is NO snow here, and today it was +4 - I didn't even need to wear my jacket at all, which is super nice when going in & out of stores. my christmas shopping is now 99% done! amazing how we are only 4 hours away but it feels like way further. (however i did have a dream last night that we went to hawaii with my parents, josh, leah & ev... and I'd be good with that!)

hope you are all finding times to relax this week before christmas!

happy birthday everett!

i used the left over icing from his cupcakes to make this little birthday plate message :)

Today is the 2nd birthday of my 2nd nephew

everett john

the sweetest little peanut!

i am constantly amazed at how quickly he learns

how easily he laughs

and how i love him more every time i see him

we had his party tonight & afterwards mike & I were talking about how ev is basically our favourite thing in the world. we just love him so much and love that he knows us & loves us too!

we are very blessed to be auntie ash & uncle mikey to such a special little boy.

happy 2nd birthday peanut.

we love you!!!

christmas aspirations

school is done!!
time for Christmas :)

I have already been working on the things on my "christmas aspirations list" (an idea given to me by my fabulous friend audrey) She made my list all fancy for me and it's up on my fridge. A good way to make sure that I do the things I love doing around Christmas!

i baked sugar cookies last night with my sister phoebe & my mom-in-law, i put my christmas cards to out-of-town friends in the mail today, mike put up our lights on the house last night (first time we've had lights on the house since we got married!), michael & i made a snowman at midnight a few weeks ago when it was snowing so beautifully. we made a snowman and then went for a walk as the snow was falling. i have sung stille nacht numerous times (this is the first year in a long time that i'm not singing at mcivor on christmas eve. partially because i'm not part of the choir this year and also because the service was cancelled), we have attended 2 christmas plays (eastview dinner theater and kilconas christmas play) we have officially had egg nog in the house since monday, we bought and decorated our real tree this week.. 

i made a wreath out of white  & green yarn as well as some gold twig things. it's hanging in the kitchen.  i have also gone through a few potfuls of stovetop potpurri.. smells like christmas to me. 

my afghan is a continuous project.. i almost have 175 squares done!

having family over/visiting with family is not one of my aspirations that i will cross off because i want to keep visiting the whole season long!!

we are planning to make a gingerbread house with everett on the 26th (the day our family is celebrating christmas) i think it'll be fun and messy!

the second side of my list is not as complete.. i have watched 2 of the 4 movies on my list, made my own ornaments, listened to christmas music constantly. i have volunteered - singing at a woman's brunch - and that is where my list ends. i am very much looking forward to puzzling, skating, tobogganing, and hopefully i can find some home videos to watch. 

i love the season of Christmas. time to slow down and spend time with family. michael & i are also going to have our own little christmas - we are going to fargo next week for 3 days! And - as a wonderful christmas bonus - Chad will be home this weekend!! we are very thrilled.

if anyone is having trouble getting into the christmas season you should watch one of my all time favorite christmas videos. it is so wonderful, sweet and simple that it makes me tear up every time. especially when they have a party. the season of christmas can become so busy. but the story and the gift of christmas is so wonderful, simple and amazing!

on the verge of an opera induced breakdown!

ok it's official
i'm on the verge of a school induced stress meltdown
today i feel like I could cry about anything and everything!
tomorrow is the dreaded exam and I just have not put as much work and time into it as I should
I find it very hard to pour hours & hours into something that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, BUT, I also want to do well.
right now I'm feeling overwhelmed at the fact that I will be up till the wee hours tonight studying, and then again in the morning. Michael is driving me to my exam so that I can keep studying in the car on the way there, and also so we can go on a date afterward
tomorrow evening I will be school free (until January!)
I will be attempting to appeal the music course that I'm signed up for next semester, and if that goes my way.. I will only have 1 biology course left (I have never been so excited about biology in my life. mainly due to the fact that it's not a music history course)
I don't think I'd be as stressed if my exam didn't require me being able to know:
45 songs (he plays a 30 second clip and then you have to know the name, composer, year, genre & 4 musical things about it)
129 terms & composers (you need to know 4 things about each)
and then an essay (8 potential topics, 4 will be on the exam & you have to write 1) the essay requires 25 points, however, if you don't mention something that he would have.. you won't get full marks, so it also requires some slight mind reading skills.

ah. and he hasn't given our marks back for our presentations or papers... so I really have no clue where I'm at (so far I know that I have 22.5% out of a potential 30 (from past tests)...

i'm looking forward to next week. to reading for fun. to cleaning my house. to spending time with michael that doesn't include my notes & text books. to finishing christmas shopping & prep. to blogging & catching up on friends blogs. to being at starbucks & mountain bean for fun & not for memorizing facts. to relaxing!

right now this is life at our house:

 my cat supervises my studying. i know I've successfully studied for hours when he comes & lays directly on my notes. he does not appreciate being neglected!

multiple blankets. heating pads. lap tables. and notes. everywhere.

I have 27 1/2 hours until I write the exam. so.. in less than 30 hours I will be back to normal. I suppose I can handle that...

christmas & school don't mix

it is december and the end of the school year is in sight!!
monday is my last day of classes - and on that day I have a major paper due in one class (topic still to be chosen.. been having a hard time, even though the topic is "anything relating to 19th century music" I am not a fan of such broad topics) - 3 smaller papers (1-2 pagers) in the other class, and a "quiz" (in my bible class we don't have an exam during the regular exam time. just a shorter quiz)

so the end is near, but it's getting worse before it's getting better. this weekend will be filled with research, paper writing and studying.

but it's the christmas season! and I feel like I'm being gypped of the start of it. thankfully my friend Audrey & I had our "christmas launch party" last night - which consisted of starbucks christmas drinks, peppermint middles oreo cookies, listening to stille nacht (ok that was by chance in starbucks, but still - check!), chatting, crocheting (on my part) and watching The Holiday. I also wore my "festive sweater" to make it complete.

I feel a bit like the picture up top. about to step into the christmas spirit, but then I just want to put everything else (aka school) on the shelf so I can spend time with family and friends, going to plays and dinners, singing carols, making gingerbread and celebrating Jesus's birth. But the more I avoid my school to-do list.. the more stressed I am, and that is not what I want this season to be about!

only a few more days..

in the meantime, I will get even more into the holiday spirit by listening to christmas music constantly. my favorite cd so far this year is...

 You can download it for $10 on iTunes, you should do it! It will fill your home with wonderfully enjoyable Christmas tunes. or check it out on: www.sheandhim.com
(Vocals, piano & ukele by Zooey Deschanel, Vocals, Guitar & Organs by M. Ward)