the air is still
her steps are labored
but she moves ahead

the ground is gray
crunching under her feet
the fog is thick

moving forward
reaching out
longing for a drink

walking for days
weeks
months

moving ahead
stumbling
stopping
moving back
not moving
moving again

forward.

eyes closed
coolness beneath her fingertips
stability
a friend
a glass
filled to overflowing

a drink
of love, sweeter than honey
a friend
her name on His lips
love, sweeter than honey

a drink
of peace, like rain on dry land
a friend
her name on His lips
peace, like rain on dry land

a drink
of hope, like a breath of fresh air
a friend
her name on His lips
hope, like a breath of fresh air

a friend, her friend
meeting her
loving her
refreshing her

at the well

love like that

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but EXTRAVAGANT. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
ephesians 5:1 the message

a year ago that was the passage that we had for our wedding ceremony. and i still like to read it over and over and think about God's extravagant love. amazing love.

this morning i wrote this after listening to the worship in singing portion of our service, including the words from 2 of the songs that really spoke to me this morning:

Love unfailing.
Overtaking my heart.
You
take
me
in.
Finding peace again.

Fear is LOST

in ALL YOU ARE.

our God is an AWESOME God
He reigns from heaven above

with WISDOM

with POWER

and LOVE

our God is an awesome God

*i humble myself to love you *

This was the main line in Frank and Karis' wedding vows.
What a good line. I actually think it started by saying "I choose to..."

So now Michael and I have been married for one whole year. and it has been FULL.
Full of learning. Full of fun. Full of family. Full of faith. Full of church life. Full of grief. Full of adjustments.
Full of love. Full of love. Full of love.

FULL.

I have learned that being married doesn't mean your relationship is always perfect or always seemless. Some days you have to choose again (as if for the first time) to humble yourself.

To choose to love.

I think being married has really shown me how important love is. That when you are based in love, you are a strong team. (and God is LOVE). Even when I've felt like I was drowning in grief, I am help up and anchored by love.

I've often said to Michael that he has taught me so much about Jesus. Michael isn't Jesus, I know that! but he has shown me, many times already, unconditional love.
On days when I'm so grumpy that he can't do anything right. On days when I'm feeling so sad that I just want to sit with him and cry. On days when I'm so tired that I want to just sit. On days when I want to dress up and go out on a special date. On days that are really just 'normal' and on days when I'm just my crazy self (ask Michael about my unique dance moves!). On all of those days he loves me and shows me love.
I have learned a lot about love from my family. I have always felt drenched in love. But one of the most special differences is that even tho I know my family still has to choose to love me, to an extent... they are still my family, and sort of have to love me (to a certain extent of course!), we are together forever. By the same token, Michael doesn't "have" to love me. Our paths never had to cross.
But everyday he chooses to love me. He chooses to take my family as his. He chooses me!
And God chooses us, every minute, of everyday. Amazing.

I feel pretty blessed to have the priviledge to love Michael. To talk to him, to make a home with him. To share our families. To be a family. To make meals together. To clean the house together. To snuggle. To laugh. To take care of him. To tease him. To know him like no one else does.
I am so blessed.

On my wedding day I could've never imagined being more in love with Michael John Thiessen. But you know what? i love him about a million times more now than I did then.

I am so thankful for this man of mine. For a God who chose to bless me and show me His love thru Michaels love, and so many other ways. For a family that has been such an example of love. I have grown up watching my parents, my Grandparents and Josh & Leah.
And I am so thankful for the love they share and for the example they have been.

Thank you Jesus for this love. Thank you for Michael and our 1st year. I pray that we will only grow in our love as the 1st year turns to the 2nd, the 5th, the 10th, 25th and so on.
That we will learn more every day to love like that.

cookies cookies and more cookies!

i've become really bad at this blogging thing...

but i thought i'd sit down now and write something!

today is my very first photography class! i'm quite nervous.. everyone keeps reassuring me, but I'm still very nervous... i don't know exactly where it is, what it'll be like, how many people there will be, will other people be using film or will everyone else be digital? all of these unknowns! I don't even know where to park! so, i will be going early and will probably sit in my car once i find where i'm going. kinda lame, but that's the way i am!

i was hoping to sleep in this morning, i've had a very busy week! it's only 11:45 am and my feet are already asking me to sit down!! i woke up to the sound of both of my dad's chatting outside my window, so i was up. i spent a little bit of time playing at my piano... and weeping. one of those sad mornings where i just need to sit, sing and cry.

i was brought back to a few years ago (2006) as I sang "tis so sweet to trust in Jesus"
i closed my eyes and i could remember walking through the woods on the path from my parents place to my grandma & grandpa's. Grandpa was already quite sick at this point, pretty close to when he went into the hospital. He had called me and told me that he would like me to help him choose some songs for his funeral, so I was walking to his place. I walked very slowly that day, feeling my heart grow heavier at the reality of that situation. and then this song came to mind, and i walked even slower as I sang "Jesus, Jesus... how I trust you. How I've proved you o'er & o'er.. Jesus Jesus, precious Jesus. Oh for strength to trust you more!!"

this morning I was brought back to that moment, and it began to interweave with my feelings of grief now. i took new notice of a line in one of the verses today: just from Jesus simply taking, life & rest, & joy & peace ... and i just spent some time thinking about how freely Jesus offers all of these things to us, life, rest, joy & peace. no matter how I've been angry with him, or been frustrated, or absent. he continues to freely give. Oh for strength to trust him MORE.

i had the pleasure of phoebe's company for a little while this morning, so that was nice. and then i baked.. for 3 1/2 hours straight. What do I have to show for myself this morning: a nicely made bed, a load of clean dishes, done., a pile of dirty dishes from baking in the sink, 3 loads of laundry, a texas sheet cake, a container of icing (i made too much!), 60 vanilla pudding cookies, 60 chocolate pudding cookies, & clean hair! woo. quite the accomplishment :)

tomorrow is the appreciation party for my mom, I think it will be fun. And then we have the Come, Walk & Pray at mom and dad's new land.. I'm very much looking forward to it.

oh! and on Monday, I get to work at my new desk... we moved from upstairs to downstairs at our office, so I'm looking forward to it.

Anyways, time to get ready for my class!