April 27, 2011

love ever after

i found the link to these photographs by Lauren Fleishman on the 22words blog
there are 10 photos in a collection called "love ever after" which includes photos of people married for 50+ years and quotes from them as well. i found myself wishing there were more than 10!

love is a gift
and it's so heart warming when it is so obviously appreciated!

"i am not thinking everyday, oh my husband is 83 years old and my goodness I am married to an old man! and I hope he feels that way too"

"another cadet with high boots had approached her but she didn't like high boots and so she said no to him. i was the second one to approach her, i had a different uniform, but i'm still not sure if it was my uniform or my face that attracted her to me!"

 "you know he was very nice looking! in august of this year we will be married 63 years. i would say love came little by little. not right away. we were young and he was older but i liked him."
"i wonder what life would be like if he wasn't here. i don't worry so much about me not being here. i tease him all the time. i say, if i'm not here you better find someone to take care of you!"

"at 2 o'clock we watch the news. i like to read books and he reads the newspaper. what is the secret to love? a secret is a secret and i don't reveal my secrets!"

April 26, 2011

hope & spring

i haven't written much lately
i try to be careful not to write much when i'm processing
because i find that if i write when i'm too passionate about something, or too frustrated, or even too apathetic.. it doesn't do anyone any good. and it can make me look pretty crazy. so i save that type of writing for the insides of my journal. a place to process in safety.

i have been feeling overwhelmed lately. by emotions, life situations, cat hair & general life messiness. BUT i have been feeling revitalized by spring.

there will always be part of life that is messier than other parts. i've never met anyone with a perfect life (sorry to any of you that thought you were fooling me!)

i watched the movie "soul surfer" the other day with my sister phoebe & we both basically cried our way through it. it was a beautiful story of hope, perseverance, faith, family & choosing to embrace life no matter what is thrown at you. it is based on the true story of the pro-surfer, Beth Hamilton. when she was a teenager she was attacked by a 14 foot tiger shark while surfing. the shark bit off her entire left arm basically at the shoulder. she goes on to continue pursuing surfing and keeping her faith in God. it is amazing & inspiring.

at one point in the movie, sarah, beth's youth leader, is teaching a sunday school lesson about how hard it can be to have a full perspective of something when you are too close. it can be hard to see outside of our situation, circumstance or even emotion when we are too close. sometimes we need to step back, gain another perspective & just allow space to see what we should do next, or what is the best way to move forward. i often feel that that is true for me. and i have been feeling like i need to take some time & space to figure some things out. life is hard! but we have hope.

spring. refreshing. life giving. new.
but still dirty & messy.
slushy & a lot of work.
but within all of that mess - the world turns back to green.
plants push up from the ground
and life is fragrant.
hope!

the day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.
-bern williams

April 20, 2011

ellsworth

everyday i read the obituaries on the winnipeg free press site.
i skim for names that i recognize from the carehome, or names that are similar to people i have gone to school with etc. i read the obituaries of individuals that died very young. i love to read obituaries because they are normally written with such love & appreciation for that person. it's neat to read the things that made that person unique.

i have been thinking about the seniors at the carehome a lot lately. aging is scary. it's scary to lose your sanity, or to at all lose who you are. i am very thankful that none of my grandparents went thru alzheimers, although I did get to experience that a bit through michael's mom's dad - and i know how hard that still is for my mom-in-law today. it's hard to lose the person you know, especially if they are still physically here.

there is this beautiful song, sung by rascal flatts. it's called ellsworth, and it is very similar to what i've been thinking about. it's what makes stories like the notebook so wonderful & endearing. it's amazing to know that often when the mind starts to go, the heart doesn't.


Ellsworth

Grandma burned the biscuits
Nearly took the house down with it.
Now she's in assisted livin'
We all knew that day would come.
We knew she was to gone to drive
The day she parked on I-65.
Found her on the shoulder cryin'
She didn't know where she was.
Its like her mind just quit.
Oh but bring up grandpa- its like someone flipped a switch.

A front porch light and a blue Desota,
Couple a straws and a coca cola:
You can see it all goin' down.
A handsome boy in army green
A tear on his face- down on a knee,
Shaky voice- a diamond ring should put you in that town.
Tomorrow she won't remember what she did today,
But just ask her about Ellsworth, Kansas, 1948.

She takes out his medals,
A cigar box of letters.
Sits and scatters pictures,
Black and whites of days gone by.
We started losin' her when she lost him,
But to hear her carry on you'd swear she's seventeen again

Football games and leaves a'cracklin'
Walkin' her home in his letter jacket,
You can see it all goin' down.
A perfect night on a front porch glider,
Saying goodnight for the next 3 hours.
Her tired eyes glow wild and bright
When she talks about that town.
Tomorrow she won't remember what she did today,
But just ask her about Ellsworth, Kansas 1948.

While the world is fading all around her
Sharin' a sundae at the counter
He's goin' on and on about her
But she's right there right now
Tomorrow she won't remember what she did today
But just ask her about Ellsworth, Kansas 1948 

April 14, 2011

white star line - Catherine Rizk & Johannes Van de Velde

last night michael & i went to the titanic exhibit at the MTS exhibition hall. i have wanted to go since it opened, and so we finally got around to going. turns out we went on the "anniversary" week. i warned michael that i would likely take a really long time looking around because i wanted to read each description & look over each photograph & artifact. something about the titanic fascinates me in such a incredible & sad way.

i love going on trips & i love cruises. it's amazing to me how grand they can make boats, and that they stay perfectly afloat & upright. i think the titanic fascinates me because it was so grand & ornate. they have a suite set up like one of the bedrooms in a first class suite. some people got suites with 4 or 5 rooms and the cost for that was equal to 10 years wages (for the average person) or around $100,000 today. every little detail was thought of when it came to the decorating. and the experience. it would have been so grand.

it also struck me how much of a contrast there is between the classes. the 3rd class passengers stayed in rooms with 6 or 8 people in bunk beds. and there were only 2 bathtubs for all of the 3rd class passengers (over 700) to share (whereas the first class passengers all had their own tubs). the 3rd class passengers on the titanic were treated better than 2nd class passengers on other ships, so no one was really complaining! they had to pay approx the equivalent of $900 today to be a 3rd class passenger.

1st class passengers had so many extras. reading rooms. smoking rooms. promenades. the grand stair case. the 3rd class passengers weren't even allowed on the upper decks! how interesting.

it struck me with sadness when we were walking through the exhibit on the way to the actual sinking portion.. on the black walls there are warnings written in stark white. warnings - multiple warnings - of huge ice bergs & being surrounded by ice. warnings to slow down & to be careful. it struck me how our own pride so often brings us to catastrophe. they wanted to make headlines. titanic was "unsinkable" - so they went on. one of the quotes on the wall is from the designer of the titanic. who wasn't going to originally go on the voyage, but his partner was ill so he stepped in. when the iceberg hit, they went to him for reassurance. and he had to swallow his pride & say that there was no discussion needed. titanic would be under the ocean in a few hours.

so many people. so much chaos. so much shock. so little space for passengers. so much loss.

in the exhibit they have an "iceberg" and its the one thing in the exhibit that you are invited to touch. putting your hand on the ice for even 10 seconds started to give me an idea of how awful this was. it was so cold. afterwards, my hand burned where the ice had been. on the way home michael was saying "imagine that ice being everywhere, and the wind that is blowing around picks up all that cold & just surrounds you with it" it makes me so sad to imagine the fear that people experienced as they tried to tread water & survive.

such a grand ship ending in such a grand disaster.

when you enter the exhibit you are giving a boarding pass. on the back you have information about a passenger, and you are invited to be that passenger as you walk through the exhibit and try to imagine it all from their perspective. at the end of the exhibit you can find your name on the list, as either a survivor, or as one of the many that was lost. michael & i were both 3rd class passengers.

he was mr. johannes joseph van de velde, age 36, travelling alone. he was an out of work weaver, convinced by an official at his local White Star Line office that he should travel to the united states on titanic, where he could find good paying farm labor.  He had been to the United States three times before. He most likely convinced many of the other 15 Belgian third-class passengers to travel with him on titanic. he was one of the many that died with titanic.

i was mrs. peter joseph (Catherine Rizk), age 24, travelling with my 2 children, michael (6 years old) and anna (2 years old). her husband sent her & the children back to Lebanon in order to save money. by april, however, peter sent for them to return. She suffered from tuberculosis, she may have also traveled to Lebanon to be in a healthier climate. she was one of the few survivors. (there is no mention of the kids names, on either list, so i assumed they were saved with their mom).

it was incredible to see the many things they have recovered. and to journey through this, trying to imagine it from someone else's perspective. i encourage you to go see it. it's well worth it.




don't ask about the pose. the lady told us we had to do a "silly pose" not really what i would do if i was on the grand staircase of the titanic!

are they ever attractive?

i'm afraid something may be wrong with me..

i'm online shopping (i know i know, i shouldn't be BUT i sold 2 old cell phones on kijiji & i got a gift certificate to oldnavy from Jo - thanks jo! - so i figure i can do a bit...) and i'm strangely attracted to ROMPERS.

i mean, ev looks awesome in a romper. but i don't think that they necessarily translate well onto the adult figure... yet i am strangely attracted to them. it would make getting dressed in the morning a much quicker process.. "what tops go with these shorts?" problem solved with the onesie romper.

i will refrain. based on the fact that it's still $25 bucks and I'm pretty sure I would look ridiculous. however, if you see me in a romper this summer, don't judge me. but maybe steal it from my closet, burn it, and get me a coffee & a nap & a slap of common sense? gracias mi amigas.