praise is rising, eyes are turning to You
we turn to You
hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You
we long for You
when we see You we find strength to face the day
in Your presence all our fears are washed away, washed away
Hosanna! Hosanna!
You are the God who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Hosanna! Hosanna!
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus
hear the sound of hearts returning to You
we turn to You
in Your kingdom broken lives are made new
You make us new
when we see You we find strength to face the day
in Your presence all our fears are washed away, washed away
brenton brown - hosanna (praise is rising)
i remember the first time i heard this song
i was at a women's leadership conference in ontario with my mom, theresa and ellen
i remember how the song was new but the words were my own
last night we were singing it at our practice for tonight's service and i realized that the first time i heard it, the first verse of this song resonated with me. i was praising and thankful for the hope Jesus gives us. for what he had in store for me, to give him all my praise!
and now i've realized that it is the last verse that resonates with me. my heart is returning to Jesus. our lives have been broken... at church i think we actually sing "broken hearts are made new" and that is true for me too. our lives and hearts have both been broken... but Jesus wants to make them new! he has been making them new. losing Jay was the hardest thing that could've happened but Jesus has not left our side. would i ask for that kind of pain again? NEVER. am i different than before? yes. Jay's life has changed mine! i will be forever grateful for the things i have realized and the ways my eyes have been opened. Jesus works thru our pain. not to justify death and sadness, but to show himself as faithful through it.
on another note, i am very thankful for the friends i have. last night we went to matt and shaunas, ate eggo's and watched sytycd. i am very thankful that we have lots of places to relax, be ourselves and enjoy fun, conversation and also talk about whats all going on in our lives.
and.. i miss jo! we're talking about maybe going to visit there in the fall or winter.. but i'm thinking it will probably end up being winter.. we shall see!
honesty | insight | and iced coffee.
July 27, 2009
our God, He reigns forever
i want to thank those of you who have been praying for me and my family
i can say, without a doubt that i felt held up by those prayers especially on Friday as we celebrated Jay's birthday.
on Friday around lunch time, I went to the cemetery. I cried as I looked at what people brought to his grave, and cried knowing that this was such a small window into all that we wanted to give him!
i sat beside the stone that has his name beautifully carved into it. i sat there and told him that it was his birthday and that i loved him more every single day! i read psalm 139 and told him that he was perfectly and wonderfully made.
i felt Jesus sitting there beside me and read the bible out loud, claiming the promises for me, for Jay, for Josh and Leah, for Michael, for my mom and dad, for Leah's parents, and ian and morgan and the list went on.
the evening was a time of family and of celebrating Jay. it was so good to be together.
on thursday I could already feel prayer holding me up. holding me closer to Jesus. i had decided not to sing on the worship team, as I felt that it would be better for me to have a chance to worship on my own and not infront of the congregation necessarily. I did however remain involved by doing the powerpoint for the service, which ended up being a blessing to me. i had to follow the words closer than i do normally, since, as a singer I am good at memorizing songs quickly, and normally don't need to look at the words. Sometimes this puts me on autopilot and i think i lose out on some of the significance of the words and the message we are proclaiming.
i read this song, as I was singing and scrolling thru the power point. it is a special song to me, and part of it is at the top of my blog page. strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.
his grace is sufficient for us! his power thru my weakness.
i was able to sing the words, and felt the power of proclaiming them
strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord
our God, He reigns forever!
our HOPE, our strong deliver
You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God
you do not faint, you won't grow weary.
you're the defender of the weak
you comfort those in need
you lift us up on wings like eagles.
thank you to those who are blessing my family and i thru your prayers.
i can say, without a doubt that i felt held up by those prayers especially on Friday as we celebrated Jay's birthday.
on Friday around lunch time, I went to the cemetery. I cried as I looked at what people brought to his grave, and cried knowing that this was such a small window into all that we wanted to give him!
i sat beside the stone that has his name beautifully carved into it. i sat there and told him that it was his birthday and that i loved him more every single day! i read psalm 139 and told him that he was perfectly and wonderfully made.
i felt Jesus sitting there beside me and read the bible out loud, claiming the promises for me, for Jay, for Josh and Leah, for Michael, for my mom and dad, for Leah's parents, and ian and morgan and the list went on.
the evening was a time of family and of celebrating Jay. it was so good to be together.
on thursday I could already feel prayer holding me up. holding me closer to Jesus. i had decided not to sing on the worship team, as I felt that it would be better for me to have a chance to worship on my own and not infront of the congregation necessarily. I did however remain involved by doing the powerpoint for the service, which ended up being a blessing to me. i had to follow the words closer than i do normally, since, as a singer I am good at memorizing songs quickly, and normally don't need to look at the words. Sometimes this puts me on autopilot and i think i lose out on some of the significance of the words and the message we are proclaiming.
i read this song, as I was singing and scrolling thru the power point. it is a special song to me, and part of it is at the top of my blog page. strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.
his grace is sufficient for us! his power thru my weakness.
i was able to sing the words, and felt the power of proclaiming them
strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord
our God, He reigns forever!
our HOPE, our strong deliver
You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God
you do not faint, you won't grow weary.
you're the defender of the weak
you comfort those in need
you lift us up on wings like eagles.
thank you to those who are blessing my family and i thru your prayers.
July 24, 2009
happy birthday baby jay!
today is my first nephews first birthday
oh how my arms are aching to hold you little guy.
i know that you would have me laughing at your antics
that i would be kissing your little cheeks non stop
that you would hear that you were loved over and over!
today we are celebrating Jay
there is no one that could ever take his place
today i want to celebrate how special he is
how much fun it was preparing for his arrival to the world
one of my favorite moments with Jay was when our family got stranded in the cuba airport.... waiting for the plane from 11 pm till 7am! Jay was so active that evening, kicking and playing in mommy's tummy. we all sat there watching Leah's belly and laughing when we saw his kicks!
i will always cherish watching my little nephew play inside his mom. I have no doubt that he knew he was loved. so very loved.
another favorite moment with my little sweet pea was when i had a moment alone with him in the hospital. Leah was in the bathroom and she asked me to hold him, what a privilege! I sat there alone with Jay and cried over him. I held his little hands and kissed his cheeks. the softest cheeks!
i touched his curls and smiled at how cute i know his hair would've grown! curls just like his mom.
i unwrapped his little feet and counted his toes. his feet were so big... he would've grown tall.
probably outgrown me... and i would've been ok with that! :)
i kissed his little button nose, hugged him, bounced him and whispered over and over... this auntie loves you so so so so much.
i will never forget how good it felt to hold him. and today my arms long to hold you again Jay.
today we are celebrating this little life that changed ours. changed everyone that knew our family and everyone that anticipated Jay. today we are loved.
today Jesus is holding Jay and celebrating him as well. today Jay and everyday... i love you so much!happy birthday baby, you are forever loved.
thank you to Jeremy for the beautiful photos. we are so thankful.July 20, 2009
another monday
another monday at the beginning of a very hard week.
i can not believe it's been a year.
this week last year i was in such a different spot than this year
but, one thing is, i definitely know love a lot more tangibly than i did this time last year
but i've never felt so robbed of the privilege to give that love to the one it's intended for!
it's not fair
i was explaining how i am feeling to my caregroup last night. they were supportive listeners and then prayed together with us. thank you Jesus for friends who haven't forgotten about me
i feel that i know that i am loved, and i know that God can handle my anger and frustration
but i still just don't get it. it just is not fair and my heart just can not believe the reality of our situation
so raw
i decided to finally go see the chiropractor, i've been feeling nausea in the mornings (not pregnant just to clear that up). something in my back cracked about 3 weeks ago and it's been making me feel sick every morning. so dr wiebe did some scans and xrays today and tomorrow i will go see him again and see what the plan is
i am very thankful for my husband. i don't think i say that enough.
i've taken quite a few pictures lately and will add them onto here for any who would like to see
it is good to enjoy life giving moments, it helps me to not let my grief take me over
enjoy a little glimpse of some people that i love. i would have pics of my family up here but i left my camera in the car during the stampede.
camping with the thiessen's old bible study group. so good to have chad back :)
when i took michael on a picnic he found something to climb. i think he is part monkey.
at half moon checking out the rainbow, right before we found out there was no power at halfmoon so we could only have icecream and had to pay with cash. it was a group effort.
my man... down by the river behind half moon
laughing. we took lots of pictures on our picnic
carmyn booking baseball tickets for us, while at her apartment!
the guys (mike, andrew and james) skipping rocks on the river
we were pretty happy to be in the sun, after we had done a garbage cleanup and ran away from the start of a thunderstorm... only getting a little wet. then after some icecream and sun we were happy still.
i can not believe it's been a year.
this week last year i was in such a different spot than this year
but, one thing is, i definitely know love a lot more tangibly than i did this time last year
but i've never felt so robbed of the privilege to give that love to the one it's intended for!
it's not fair
i was explaining how i am feeling to my caregroup last night. they were supportive listeners and then prayed together with us. thank you Jesus for friends who haven't forgotten about me
i feel that i know that i am loved, and i know that God can handle my anger and frustration
but i still just don't get it. it just is not fair and my heart just can not believe the reality of our situation
so raw
i decided to finally go see the chiropractor, i've been feeling nausea in the mornings (not pregnant just to clear that up). something in my back cracked about 3 weeks ago and it's been making me feel sick every morning. so dr wiebe did some scans and xrays today and tomorrow i will go see him again and see what the plan is
i am very thankful for my husband. i don't think i say that enough.
i've taken quite a few pictures lately and will add them onto here for any who would like to see
it is good to enjoy life giving moments, it helps me to not let my grief take me over
enjoy a little glimpse of some people that i love. i would have pics of my family up here but i left my camera in the car during the stampede.
camping with the thiessen's old bible study group. so good to have chad back :)
when i took michael on a picnic he found something to climb. i think he is part monkey.
at half moon checking out the rainbow, right before we found out there was no power at halfmoon so we could only have icecream and had to pay with cash. it was a group effort.
my man... down by the river behind half moon
laughing. we took lots of pictures on our picnic
carmyn booking baseball tickets for us, while at her apartment!
the guys (mike, andrew and james) skipping rocks on the river
we were pretty happy to be in the sun, after we had done a garbage cleanup and ran away from the start of a thunderstorm... only getting a little wet. then after some icecream and sun we were happy still.
July 17, 2009
some fun random things to know
i really hope that that last post wasn't a "downer" for people who read it
truth be told, i am still enjoying life and am still a happy person
i still have a wonderful family and group of friends that i love and that i am loved by
Jesus is still ever present
when i worship i worship with sincerity and gratitude
not full understanding
the air is thick for me right now but I still feel like i'm moving ahead, maybe just with different steps than i'm used to.
i am so thankful for Jay and his impact on my life. and i think as his birthday comes up
my grief is looking different yet again.
I just wanted to maybe add a more hopeful spin to parts of my post from yesterday (altho i do realize that very few people read this, i figured it was still worth the telling)
i'm feeling cheerful this afternoon
the end of a friday work day means two full days of time for non work life! and everyone likes that
so, here are some fun random things about me that i felt like sharing for fun
i always leave the last sip of coffee in my mug or take out cup, it drives michael crazy
when i have my hair curly i feel more glamorous, even if i'm wearing sweats
i appreciate really good music, but most days my radio is set to 103
i don't understand why people hang their toilet paper "under"... so sometimes i switch it while i'm in there.
i can fit a toonie up my nose
it drives me crazy that i have two silver teeth in my mouth, but i don't want fake ones either!
i would eat cereal at every meal if i could get away with it
my favorite place to worship is alone at my piano or around a campfire or in a living room with a small group of people
i think the egg shaker is a fabulous invention
on really hot summer days i daydream about walking downtown while it's snowing
i'd like to live at the lake
my mom and sisters are who i call my best friends
i am surprisingly very shy
i used to want to have two sons one day, but now i think i want a girl and a boy, or maybe just two girls... but probably a girl and a boy (not like i really have a choice!)
i enjoy hanging out with the elderly
i want my nose pierced
i miss jo all the time, especially when i go to starbucks
if i were rich i would buy starbucks every day. sometimes twice.
i would like to fly to the dominican republic for the sunshine, but mostly for the passionfruit!
i want to take a photography course in time for when josh and leah's 2nd babe is born
i love my husband more than i ever thought i could love someone!
i love being with and hanging out with my dad
time for a fun filled weekend! pedicures, manitoba stampede, getting our treadmill & caregroup!
truth be told, i am still enjoying life and am still a happy person
i still have a wonderful family and group of friends that i love and that i am loved by
Jesus is still ever present
when i worship i worship with sincerity and gratitude
not full understanding
the air is thick for me right now but I still feel like i'm moving ahead, maybe just with different steps than i'm used to.
i am so thankful for Jay and his impact on my life. and i think as his birthday comes up
my grief is looking different yet again.
I just wanted to maybe add a more hopeful spin to parts of my post from yesterday (altho i do realize that very few people read this, i figured it was still worth the telling)
i'm feeling cheerful this afternoon
the end of a friday work day means two full days of time for non work life! and everyone likes that
so, here are some fun random things about me that i felt like sharing for fun
i always leave the last sip of coffee in my mug or take out cup, it drives michael crazy
when i have my hair curly i feel more glamorous, even if i'm wearing sweats
i appreciate really good music, but most days my radio is set to 103
i don't understand why people hang their toilet paper "under"... so sometimes i switch it while i'm in there.
i can fit a toonie up my nose
it drives me crazy that i have two silver teeth in my mouth, but i don't want fake ones either!
i would eat cereal at every meal if i could get away with it
my favorite place to worship is alone at my piano or around a campfire or in a living room with a small group of people
i think the egg shaker is a fabulous invention
on really hot summer days i daydream about walking downtown while it's snowing
i'd like to live at the lake
my mom and sisters are who i call my best friends
i am surprisingly very shy
i used to want to have two sons one day, but now i think i want a girl and a boy, or maybe just two girls... but probably a girl and a boy (not like i really have a choice!)
i enjoy hanging out with the elderly
i want my nose pierced
i miss jo all the time, especially when i go to starbucks
if i were rich i would buy starbucks every day. sometimes twice.
i would like to fly to the dominican republic for the sunshine, but mostly for the passionfruit!
i want to take a photography course in time for when josh and leah's 2nd babe is born
i love my husband more than i ever thought i could love someone!
i love being with and hanging out with my dad
time for a fun filled weekend! pedicures, manitoba stampede, getting our treadmill & caregroup!
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